One of THOSE posts...

Last night was one of THOSE nights.  New Baby didn't sleep well because after switching her formula, I had to give her a bottle of the old stuff before bed because we ran out before Hubby made it back from the store and she pretended to be starving.  Anyway, long story short, she had a tummy ache most of the night and I wound up, against my better judgement, holding her and shoving a pacifier in her mouth so she wouldn't cry.  I was pretty much just dozing from 2:45 am until 8 this morning.  I'm exhausted.

But somewhere in the middle of the dozing, I had one of THOSE dreams that makes you wake up in a sweat and appreciate everything you have.  A lot of people at our church have been diagnosed with cancer lately.  In a congregation of 300, it's bound to happen.  So in my dream, I was one of those people who had been diagnosed with it.  I was the age I am now and so were my kids.  There's nothing more eye-opening than hearing your child in your dream say, "Are you going to heaven, Mommy?"  and telling your husband to find another wife that would make him happier than I ever could.  I realized Chicken and New Baby wouldn't have any memories of me and possibly not even Punky.  Wow, talk about hard.  I didn't sleep much at all after that because I was thinking about my kids and husband's life if I was to leave them.  My girl's wedding day with another woman there putting their veil on.  I guess I can only pray God wants me to live long enough to see them into adulthood and do all I can to be healthy.  Guess it's a good thing I start weight watchers tomorrow!

Sorry for the downer post, but wow, I feel like having a dream like that is sometimes God's way of making you wake up and appreciate things.  It's hard to do when you have a newborn and your goal is to just make it to nap time and bedtime for sleep, but I'm certainly making sure I'm stopping and enjoying my kids and Hubby today and every day afterwards!  I certainly found an overabundance of patience last night when I usually just want New Baby to go back to sleep so I can too!