Grateful...

Well, my baby girl is going to be 2 on Wednesday.  Seems like just yesterday she popped out and changed our world forever.  I guess with all the craziness of two pregnancies since she's been born, it's been hard to focus on the little things that some might enjoy.  TV has been my best friend for the better part of a year just so I could deal with morning sickness and exhaustion.  But there are those days when I think back on the day we brought her home, terrified at the prospect of being parents, yet knowing that we would succeed.  I remember looking at her and tearing up from sheer happiness because God had finally given me a baby (little did I know, huh?).  :o)  It's when I think about those moments that I realize everything has been worth it.  Sure most days I think, JUST A MOMENT'S PEACE PLEASE!!  But every day there are those tender moments.  Today, Punky came up to me while I was changing Chicken's diaper and wrapped those sweet little arms around my knees and hugged me.  Then came the sweetest thing..."Luh you, Mommy." I stopped changing Chicken's diaper, risking pee and all and picked her up and hugged her.  It was one of those moments that in the grand passage of time I will probably forget but I know it's those kinds of moments that change me as a mother and as a person.

Perhaps the passing of a dear family friend has also gotten me a little sappy.  It was someone who was so very close to my mother in law.  She gave my husband his first piano lessons and was proud of that until the day she died.  She left behind two beautiful daughters and FOURTEEN grandkids.  Those daughters of hers are so remarkable, and it only gives testimony to the kind of woman she was.  I didn't know her that well, but the times I did talk to her I was always left with so much respect toward her.  I never thought I would know someone like that.  She lived such an interesting life, born in England, and raised in Africa where she met her husband as a young child.  If I remember correctly, they had their first kiss before they were teens.  She died from aggressive breast cancer after battling it for exactly one year.  Thousands of prayers were offered to God on her behalf for her to live but sometimes, as we all know, God says no.  It's not up to us to question his reasons or to grow bitter.  In fact, their family and the rest of us have grown closer to God.  I like to think that this whole ordeal has been a blessing in disguise for many of us.

For me, I've learned to slow down and smile.  My kids are only little once and even though things are pretty tough with them right now, I love every minute of it.  They're my babies that God has given me.  After all my prayers, God said yes.  With Carol's death, I've been reminded that there are times he says no.  I can't imagine my life without them.  I don't want to imagine my life without them.

Life without our friend will be hard.  She touched so many lives with her gentle, Christian spirit and unfailing love.  Truly, she was a virtuous woman and the example God would have us all be.  May everyone's prayers be with her family.  May God heal their sorrow and time dry their tears.