Thursday, August 30, 2007


Ok, so this is the time I love yet hate. I can FEEL fall in the air. I don't care if you're a skeptic and argue with me that it's 100 degrees outside and there's no way I can feel fall. Well, tough, I do.

This time of year always makes me reminiscent of football season. I was a band nerd. I played flute and was drum major for the last two years of high school. My mother always argued with me that those were the best times of my life. Perhaps not the BEST, because I would consider marrying Hubby and having Punky and Chicken the best, but it was certainly the funnest time of my life. I enjoyed every ballgame, every bus ride, every band competition. I loved meeting new people and having nothing short of a circus around me during those times. I absolutely loved to go out for a ride through the mountains with the windows down and music blaring during this time of year. And when I'm honest with myself, I felt really good about myself and how I looked.

Obviously when we get married and have kids, gain about 40 pounds (20 of which are finally gone thanks to Punky!), you don't really want the attention anymore. Especially when you go from getting really hot guys in high school and college giving you loads of attention (like hubby!) to driving down the road some 40 pounds heavier and the only thing that looks your way is some odd looking THING that's about 50 years old, has two teeth and is trying to flirt with you while hanging out of his construction vehicle going down the interstate. Yes, I decided THAT DAY I wanted to become invisible forever. But I digress...

In High school, I was miserable. I couldn't wait to get out, go to college, get married, having kids, etc., etc. Looking back, it was still fun, even if it was hard emotionally. I tend to wish my life away I've discovered. These days, I think if I can just get Punky to 2 years old, we'll be home free. Or, if Chicken could just get his tooth in, things will be fine. If I could just lose 25 more pounds... Everyday there is one thing I'm looking forward to being over.

But what about now? I thank God everyday for my children. I think I've made that clear, but I do still tend to wish them older or wish for circumstances that will take awhile to achieve. I'm doing what I did in high school. Today, I realized that 20 years from now I'll be wishing my kids were little again. I'll be thinking that these were the greatest times of my life, and 20 years from now i'll be waiting for something else to be over. I want to enjoy TODAY and I will...starting TODAY.

So I started all this talk about high school, right? Well, that's what started it. I barely slept last night (compliments of a new book idea running through my head) and I had a lot of time to think about things and how I'm really tired of waiting for something to happen instead of making it happen. High school was a fun time when I felt somewhat good about myself and who I was. I've decided that I'm losing that 25 pounds I want gone. I've decided instead of trudging through the day in a stay-at-home-mom fog, I'm getting up, getting a shower, even *gasp* putting on makeup (Ok, maybe not everyday but the days I feel the worst) and getting things back the way I want them to be with ME. I know Hubby is tired of hearing me complain about myself, so I'm not going to have anything to complain about. I'm losing that doggone weight if it kills me! (And not eating brownies just might!)

I don't want to BE in high school again, I want to FEEL like I did then. And I know I can. I might even grow my hair out again. :o)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

If it's not teething...'s shots. Geez, why do kids have to get so many? I mean, I totally get that it keeps them healthy, but why can't they do it like they do the rotovirus thing and make it an oral vaccine? Poor Punky and Chicken BOTH got theirs todays, Punky's 18 month and Chicken's 6 month. Chicken did just fine. He cried during and a little bit after, but Punky was the one who was most pitiful. As soon as the needle touched her leg she said, "HUTS!" and started crying so hard I almost cried with her. She pretty much cried the whole ride home, too. Now the poor kids are going to be cranky all day because I'll keep forgetting and accidentally bother their sore legs. And I'm going to have a MAJOR headache. I guess I'll go fix those brownies I've been saving for a special occasion. Punky and I just might eat the whole batch today. Just kidding, I'm not sharing.

On a side note, I saw a Toxic friend I used to have at my first job. She got me in heaps of trouble at work because I was desperate for friends (it was after I first moved here) and then refused to own up to it and blamed it on me. At the time I knew her, we were both battling infertility so it was easy to bond with her, even though her attitude was fickle to say the least. One day we were best friends, the next she acted like I was an annoyance. When I left that job, (I'm still sending up thanks for finding another one) we didn't part on good terms because by that point I didn't care if we were friends. I had been in another department for a year before I left and we hadn't been too close. I later found out she was the kind of person who talked about you behind your back. Boy did I feel stupid for trusting her!

Well, she was in the pediatrician's office with her little girl (apparently she got pregnant, too) and she was obviously pregnant again. She took one glance at me and took off in the opposite direction. Too bad, i was going to "love my enemy" and be nice to her. Her little girl was cute, too. I heard her call her Allison. I think it's a very pretty name. Let's just hope she doesn't teach her her conniving and backstabbing personality! I'm going to have to say a prayer for that. No child deserves that.

Monday, August 27, 2007

There's nothing like...

There's absolutely nothing like putting the top down on your mustang convertible in the early morning, getting a babysitter and riding through three beautiful states to see your best friend from back home. There's nothing like watching the rolling hay fields as you pass by or smelling the very faint smell of fall in the air, even though it's 90 some degrees outside. Yet even more, there's nothing like having a few hours to yourself to just think and reflect...and turn up your music as loud as you can stand it just to sing your heart out...even though you realize that any poor person standing outside is probably wagging his head because he's embarrassed FOR you.

So that's what I did on Friday. I jumped in my car, drove to Tennessee, enjoyed the scenery of driving through absolutely nowhere and at the end of my journey, my best friend was waiting. And I got to meet the new addition to her family, who is 4 weeks old and adorable. We spent the day talking, just because we're so good at it, and went to eat at Olive Garden for lunch (YUM!). It was so nice to see her and to remember that bit of myself I used to be, long before babies and becoming a wife. I'm still not sure who that person was, and even though I'm glad she's mostly gone, there's still that bittersweetness at thinking where I've came from as a skinny, slightly wild girl and where I am today. My best friend and I had to part ways when she moved to her mother's house in high school, but through the years we've kept in touch and now we both have two children, almost the same ages. She's the kind of friend that even though you don't agree on everything, you just get that about each other and you don't have to put on an act or worry constantly about what you say or do that you might offend each other. She's also the kind of friend that you picture still getting together for lunch with when you're 80, even if it's over nursing home cafeteria food, just to gab the day away about anything and everything. It's refreshing because while I have good friends here, there's no one like her nor do I suspect there ever will be again. It makes me want to move back home, or at least a bit closer so we can see each other more and our kids can play.

On my drive back, it was shadowed by the fact Chicken hadn't slept well without me all day and Punky was and is still having separation issues. My husband called me just before I was going to leave to make sure I was going to have my butt home in time to help him and yes, I said, I would be home in time to hold his hand. Geez. How do single men survive without a woman? Occasionally he'll get on these kicks where he feels the need to do things himself, get all frustrated that the kids aren't doing what they're supposed to do (you know, like go to sleep), keep at it until they pass out then come to me and make the very astute point that regardless of how he did it, the end result is still sleep. I'm a stickler for wanting things done my way, nothing wrong with that as long as it's not sinful or hurting anyone, but he's a stickler for proving to me that while he must call me every chance that i'm away to make sure I'll be home, sometimes I think he just wants me home so he can show me they can go to sleep when they're routine is all messed up. Men. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. Why do we still love them so much? I reckon we're all glutton for punishment! ;o)

On a happier note about my sweet, handsome, loving husband, we did get to spend the day together Saturday and got to enjoy each other. Chicken and Punky stayed with his parents all day and we went out to eat and spent the day on the military base. I'm obsessed with military bases, probably because I dated four military guys in my younger years and was exposed just enough to pique my curiosity, not to mention that's where Hubby works. So he took me to show me where he works.

Let me just tell you about his cushy little NASA working conditions. Dead ant carcasses lined his desk. The floors might have been cleaned ONCE in the last 40 years. It smelled like the library in a nursing home. Everything was yellowed with age. His desk was at least 20 years old. The only thing new in his cubicle was his computer and this years calendar. I asked him if no one came by to clean the ants or empty the trash. Yes, but just the trash. He said they might swipe down the shelves with something occasionally, but let me tell you. Even with a full ant colony, it takes a lot of time for that many ants to go legs up. So I've made it my mission to get him some cleaning supplies to dispose of the ants and work in conditions suitable for coming home and playing with children. The best part? Last week, Hubby says, they had YELLOW WARNING TAPE up while they were in the rafters repairing something because of the asbestos in the air. Lovely. Now, not only do I have to worry about him coming home with some sort of unknown disease from all the dead insect, now he'll probably have lung cancer from the asbestos! You'd think our government would want a little something better for their employees, especially since they're sending them to outerspace. Let me tell you, that building I was in was definitely from another world!

That was my weekend, what about yours?

Monday, August 20, 2007


Teething is a real bummer. Even more of a bummer when you have both kids so close together that they're BOTH cutting their first round of teeth at the same time. This was certainly something that I didn't think about (among MANY other things) when I got pregnant for the second time when Punky was only 4.5 months old. Of course, there wasn't a whole lot of thinking going on as I've mentioned before when it came to that whole ordeal. I mean, this whole time I've always thought that even the BAD days wouldn't be bad days if I didn't have them. It could be that today could have been a regular ole boring work day for me instead of spending time with my two beautiful, cranky children. I'm not sure if you would call it spending time...just a lot of discipline and praying.

Punky decided to sleep 45 minutes and wake up crying really hard. I went in to rock her and finally she went back to sleep and slept over an hour (molar #2 is coming down). Chicken Little? Oh no, he stands at a whopping 45 minute afternoon nap. Where did my good sleepers go? I guess i've bragged one too many times about having two hours to myself in the afternoon. Just when I nailed the two hour naps with him, he goes and starts teething. I KNOW that's what it is because he has the facial rash, gnawing on his fingers, and not to mention I can SEE the teeth. Punky didn't get her first one until she was 9 months old, so I didn't expect to go through this so soon. Of course, now that I have Chicken I've definitely decided to that nothing about Punky was normal or average. Now i'm realizing how much HARDER I'm going to have to work with Chicken to get him where Punky is in the manner, obeying and humbleness department. Wish me luck!

In other news...wait there is no other news. HA! Today was just one of those days where I wish I could just go to bed and start over....or skip the whole day entirely. But like I mentioned earlier, today might not have even been a bad day if I didn't have my kiddos. I'm really trying to remember that and be thankful for them (which I am, just some days more than others!). Here's for a better day tomorrow!

Saturday, August 18, 2007


Ahhh, today was uneventful yet crazy. How is it when you have children that somehow becomes possible?

I attempted to go to a ladies lectureship at our church today. It actually started Friday night and began again this morning at 9 am, lasting until around 3:30. Well, last night since my sister in law was in town, we ate dinner with the fam and we all decided to skip last night and go today. Since I've been going nonstop for about a month now every weekend, I told the Hubby that I really just wanted to spend the morning with him and the kids and I'd go to the afternoon session. So he took Punky to the store with him (how's that for quality time with the fam when HALF OF THEM WEREN'T HERE!) to get some things to finish up his honey-do list (yes, I'm getting THAT organized lately) while Chicken Little took his morning nap. I had a quiet 45 minutes before Chicken decided to get up. He's teething (much earlier than Punky, I might add), so if I don't keep him doped up on Motrin he doesn't nap well nor is he pleasant to be around. So after that I wound up getting the dreaded shower (why is it I hate them so?!) while he listened to a Baby Einstein lullaby cd, which turns him comatose the instant it starts playing. I'm not even exaggerating either. It did the same with Punky, too. When I get out of the shower and see him (he sits outside the shower door kind of half way in my closet) he usually smiles the instant he sees me. Not when that blasted CD is on. He just looks at me like I'm disturbing his daydreams of pink elephants and flying pigs that, probably in his mind, are wearing tutus and eating...baba's or something. Hey, that's all his little baby mind knows.

After that (yes, I told you this was uneventful, so stop rolling your eyes, I need something to write about, ok?!) the Hubby came home with Punky and we decided to go BACK out to Olive Garden for lunch. I love Olive Garden, especially their breadsticks dipped in a side container of their wonderful salad dressing. Try it sometimes, it's better than marinara sauce in my humble opinion. So lunch was uneventful except Chicken deciding he was going to get fussy from lack of sleep. So then I headed to the afternoon sessions of the lectures at church.

I sat down and was pretty impressed with the woman's demeanor at first. But did she talk fast. I mean, I'll be woman enough to admit that I'm not up to speed on the book of Esther anyway, so for crying out loud, I missed the first sessions lady so I NEED YOU TO SLOW DOWN so I can at least understand what you're saying! But then she started preaching...yes preaching. I guess I'm so used to seeing males do this that it stuns me when women have the bold voice, dramatic pauses and rhetorical questions. I mean, we're supposed to keep silent (yes this was all ladies, so it was ok for her to do this), but where did she learn this?! Did she go to a preaching school or something, because I just don't see how that kind of thing comes naturally, says the girl who poops a brick at the mere thought of public speaking. But anyway, after my brain finally caught up with her tongue, I enjoyed the first session and was looking forward to the next.

Just before the end of it, me and the lady next to me heard a cell phone buzzing somewhere. Paranoid I checked mine in case the vibrator on my phone suddenly decided to change. Nope not mine. But I should have known it was a premonition of sorts. Less than a minute after that I see HOME calling on my cell phone. Oh goodness, here's the Hubby on one of his 300 phone calls of reassurance that, no, he's not doing anything wrong and yes, sometimes he just cries like that. And yes, it's ok to ignore him for a few minutes to see if he settles and just call me back in a little while if he's still doing it. Actually, it was more of a getyourbootyinthecarrightnowandcomehomebecauseyoursoniscryingandwon'tstopandI'vedoneeverythingIknowtodo conversations. The sheer panic in his voice was enough for me not to even ask questions. I just went back into the auditorium, told my mother in law I was leaving because the Hubby was having a baby crisis and I was needed. Oh well. Esther will have to wait.

So get this. I'm half way home (less than ten minutes after the initial phone call). HOME again. Hello? He's asleep now. Well, great. I'm not turning around, nope, not with gas prices these days. So I went home and while children slept I finished reading the Love Languages book (which is great, I highly recommend it!), so at least my time was fruitful and I didn't deplete the ozone more than I had to.

:o) That was my boring day, how about yours?

Friday, August 17, 2007

Please Pray

Just a short post today as things are once again so busy I can't keep my head on straight!

A friend of mine just forwarded another blog site to me of one of her friends who is going through a hard time right now. She's pregnant and her baby has some pretty severe birth defects. I can't imagine going through this and how worried she must be. It just reminds me to thank God every day for my two healthy, beautiful children. Even though my situation can't possibly compare to hers, it does remind me of when the doctors told me when I was pregnant with Punky not to expect a viable pregnancy. With my history and my hormone issues, it was very possible she wouldn't make it. Well, she did. And she was healthy and she's now 18 months old and one smart cookie. Not to mention I have a son, too. I guess the bottom line is that this woman should be thankful for the gift of life and know that God has his reasons for all this. Its not up to us to question why or how, but to accept what he's given us and make the best of it.

If you would like to read her blog and send her some messages of encouragement, here is the link:

On a happier note, my sister in law who just got married is coming to visit this weekend and we get to show her their wedding pictures (which turned out BEAUTIFUL!). I'm so excited and wish the Hubby would take it up as a professional hobby instead of a fun one. We could make some serious money! Maybe one day when the kiddos are a little older we can.

Talk at you next time!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

What was I thinking?

I hope to be joining a wonderful community of writers and bloggers and whatnot that can help aid in keeping me in touch with an outside world that doesn't revolve around Old Macdonald and Twinkle Twinkle.

Now don't get me wrong. I love, Love, LOVE my career as a full time mom and wife. I went through quite a lot to get here and even as a little girl all I wanted to be (besides a pop rock star) was a Mommy. And to hear those two precious syllables come out of my 18 month old daughter's mouth as her chubby little legs pump up and down as she comes running to me is heaven. And the smile that lights up her usually solemn face just melts my heart. I'm telling you there's just nothing like it.

And that's just my daughter.

My son is 5 months old (yes, close your mouth I realize that's only 13 months apart and to answer the burning "What was I thinking" question...well...obviously I wasn't.). My son (newly dubbed Chicken Little because he looks can light up the whole room with his smile. He smiles frequently when he simply looks at me or his father. Such a startling contrast to his sister (whom I refer to as Punky). He's a fat little Chicken but such a cute one I can't help but smile every time I look at him.

God has truly blessed me.

But anyway, now that I've proved my point about not hating my day job, I do hope I can find something a little fun to do on here and enjoy the community.

BTW, I'm also a closet writer in my spare time. I got my first rejection from an agent a few months back and - can you believe - was actually thrilled? First of all because I had a 6 week old baby at the time I submitted the work and a four month old when I got rejected. No way, no how could I have had the time to even submit a full request, much less write as a secondary career? There goes that question again, huh? What was I thinking, right? Ha. I, again, wasn't.

But I do still hope one day I can get back into the swing of things and enjoy writing again. It's certainly a passion of mine and something I would absolutely love to do full time...when my kids are old enough for me to justify it. I mean, I quit my job for a reason, you know? To raise my children, not to start a new career from scratch. I'm giving them what no other person on this earth can give them and that's me at home everyday to love them and cherish them. And with homeschooling only a few years away, THAT will be my new career from scratch. I will suddenly be an Elementary school teacher. Should've finished that degree I started a few years back, doggone it.

What was I thinking?