Sunday, November 30, 2008

Twilight Christmas Giveaway

Ahhh...this is hard for me to admit and I don't even know why now. But I'm totally on the Twilight bandwagon now. I heard all the hype, scoffed, turned my nose up, thought I was too old, you know. What could possibly be so intriguing about a silly little high school vampire book/movie. And what could possibly be written in them that hasn't already been written a bazillion times before?

Well, let me tell you. It starts with Edward and ends with Cullen.

I chose to read the first book over Thanksgiving (in 2 days I might add). From about page 10, I was sucked in. I couldn't put the thing down. It was like Edward was "dazzling" me right through the pages (if you've read it, you know what I'm referring to, here). Bella was so sweet and awkward and charmingly clumsy that I couldn't help be intrigued. I simply can't explain to you how good this book is. I'm chomping at the bit to read the others in the series, but I've asked for them for Christmas so I have to wait a few more weeks (so no one better spoil it for me!). And if no one gets them for me, I'm going to be one grumpy mama come christmas day!

So immediately after I finished reading the book on Saturday, I bought tickets for me, hubby, my sister in law, brother in law and cousin for the 8:30 showing that night. I have to admit, I was shocked by how much the movie was like the book, right down to their conversations. Of course, there were small differences, but nothing that jeopardized the integrity of the book.

The only bad thing about the movie was this: Bella's blinking drove me absurdly mad. I wanted her to do nothing more than get whatever it was out of her eyes! And Edward - don't hate me people - just wasn't what I envisioned. Hubby thought he did a great job of portraying a vampire, but in all honesty, he just didn't do it for me. If I saw that Edward in the school parking lot, I wouldn't have given him a second glance. Now, don't get me wrong. He was passable. He had his moments when he and Bella's relationship grew more comfortable that he relaxed and wasn't so awkward. But the Edward in the book didn't seem so awkward to me. 100 year old vampire awkward, yes. Retarded awkward, no.

Personally, after seeing Shane West in A Walk to Remember, I think he would have made a much better Edward and done a better interpretation. But that's just my opinion, so don't get your panties in a wad.

So, in light of this holiday season (and Hubby's raise), I'm holding a belated giveaway to get all of you lurkers and commenters alike to have a chance to get to know Bella and Edward. The winner can choose between the first book in the series, or 2 movie tickets specifically for Twilight. All you have to do is leave me a comment and I will randomly draw a name. If you have a blog and link me on your site, you can leave me a second comment telling me about the link and you will be entered in the drawing twice. The deadline is December 4th at noon CENTRAL TIME to enter. The winner will be announced on Friday, December 5, 2008. This post will remain up until then in order for me to give everyone an opportunity to comment and get your names in the drawing!

Good luck!

SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Holy cow, I did it. I ACTUALLY DID IT, PEOPLE! I, Stephanie, finished the NaNoWriMo. Not just finished, WON. I'm ecstatic. I'm excited. I'm all giddy-schoolgirl-like. I'm...horrified!

Yes, horrified. If I can finish a novel consisting of 50,000 words (51,726 to be exact), what excuse could I possibly give myself or anyone else not to finish the rest that lay in waiting in the little folder on my desktop creatively entitled "Manuscripts"?

I'm actually really excited about the book. I didn't do a conventional NaNoWriMo. I actually just used this month to finish this one up. It was already about 35,000 words before I started. But progress is progress and I have about 30 other ones that far along that I need to work on, too. At this rate I'll be done in...30 years!

I have some other really exciting news. I was accepted to a really amazing critique group . I've only been a member for a week and I can tell you right now, these ladies are so wonderful. I can be myself and joke without them getting all offended. In fact, they actually seem to enjoy my sense of humor (I know, give them time.). I have no doubt that this is the next step I needed to make in my writing career. Hopefully, with these wonderful women to help me, I'll be able to get published much sooner! Now if I could just get un-intimidated...

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! My gallbladder tolerated everything ok on Thanksgiving Day, but shopping at 6:00 am on Black Friday having a mild (thank goodness) attack got a little tricky.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Things I'm thankful for this year:

In no particular order:

10.  Hubby's raise

9.  My hubby and babies

8.  Hubby's raise

7.  I'm writing (and reading) again.

6.  Hubby's raise

5.  My relatively good health.

4.  Hubby's raise

3.  My church family and friends.

2.  Hubby's raise

1.  I'm not pregnant again this year.  This is the first Thanksgiving in 3 years I haven't been pregnant.

I intend to enjoy it as much as my gallbladder will allow.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Living with the barest of essentials, Stephanie Style

In 4th grade, my vision blurred.  I needed glasses.

In 5th grade, I had 4 permanent teeth removed to make room for the rest of my teeth.

In 6th grade I got braces.

In 7th grade, I replaced glasses with contacts and have worn them ever since.

In 8th grade, I got my braces removed.

The year after I graduated, I got my 4 wisdom teeth pulled.  Yes, that makes 8 permanent teeth removed from my head.

In 2001 I was diagnosed with PCOS.

In 2004, two days after Christmas, I had surgery to remove parts of my ovaries so I could get pregnant.  Apparently, it worked like a charm.

In 2006 I removed Punky from my body.

In 2007 I booted Chicken.

In 2008 I evicted Cupcake.

Now, it appears in 2009, possibly even before the end of this year if I have my way, I (well, the doctor) will be removing my gallbladder.  My ultrasound revealed stones therefore the perfect explanation to my intense heartburn and those intense attacks I've been having.

Talk about getting old.  Apparently I know now what my next milestone in life is:  Getting things removed or replaced.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Oil and Water

Remember hubby's task of getting all his new job prospects to give him the most money?  Well, his current place of employment wanted him so bad they BEAT the offer by $1100!!!  So now we're going to be around $1000 richer every month and will make for a lot less stress!

So I decide upon hearing the news that I must celebrate by buying new clothes.  After giving birth to Cupcake, everything has shifted to places that I didn't know I had and nothing fits right.  It sucks.  I must have tried on 50 shirts.  That's all I really needed until I lose the rest of my weight (which will have to be after the first of the year, duh).

I slowly came to the realization that I just don't know what I should wear and no amounts of watching What Not to Wear will clue me in.  No one on that show has ever been shaped like me.  They use comparison of the apple vs the pear shape but they have NEVER EVER dealt with the Humpty Dumpty shape.  I'm not kidding, stop laughing.  Big boobs, big belly, sticks for limbs, flat butt, back fat that looks like your head is on backwards.  I mean, has anyone else in the history of the world been shaped as oddly as me?  Sure, you can say you are or know someone but I'll just flat out tell ya right now to get over yourself.  I've definitely got you beat.

I did find a couple of shirts that I thought would look good AFTER I bought that gut cinching corset that I'm convinced was three sizes too small even though it said XL (it's amazing how two little letters can be such a blow to your ego).  But apparently corsets don't actually get RID of your fat, it just squishes it somewhere else.  I didn't get the memo on that one.

I stood outside of Old Navy at our local "hip" hangout and observed people who looked to be around my age.  They wore their skinny jeans tucked in their cute little furry boots.  They wore layers that intimidated me that I would never be able to match up if my life depended on it.  They had cute accessories that I instantly loved on them but would hate on me.  But one thing that I did notice I had that blended in was the hip hair do.  My stylist is just simply amazing.  I got it cut Saturday morning before my shopping adventure and thought after getting it cut, it would somehow make clothes look better on me.  What was I thinking?  A t-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes does a cute bob stacked in the back a serious injustice.  I looked down right frumpy.

So even though I joked about it before, I realized this weekend with certainty I'm old.  Not necessarily physically, but mentally.  I'd rather spend the money on my kids than deal with having to figure out what I'm supposed to be wearing.  Looking stylish is work.  Women like OHMommy intimidates me with their stilettos and chic clothes.  I need those people to be my personal shoppers or at the very least give me a do and don't list.

Clothes and me?  Oil and water, baby.  

Friday, November 21, 2008

Oh, Son...


Dear Chicken,

This year for Christmas, we will be buying you MANY boy toys.  Among them will be guns, noisy *annoying* robots and dinosaurs, cars, action figures, etc.  We must somehow convey to you that discarding your batman costume with a really cool mask (see bottom right of picture) only to replace it with your sisters white dress shoes is not acceptable.  And that tutu you wanted to put on this morning?  I burned it when Punky wasn't looking.

And perhaps, if you're really good, we'll throw in some pants as a stocking stuffer.

Love, 
Mommy

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Top Ten Ways to Know You're Getting Old - from personal experience

10.  You find a new gray hair everyday.  Apparently pulling them out does make two grow back, only in strategic places on your head.

9.  Your done having kids.

8.  Your boobs sag.

7.  You have heartburn all the time.

6.  Stress gives you possible ulcers.

5.  Sex makes your knees hurt.

4.  You have hemorroids.  Thanks, Punky, Chicken and Cupcake.  Appreciate it.  (Sorry, TMI)

3.  You're fingers cramp up when you try to do something like make baby bracelets.

2.  Drinking caffeine at 5 pm gives you insomnia until 2 am.

1.  You look forward to all the rest you'll get in the nursing home.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Chosen One

Silver platter is to Hubby as Murphy is to me.

Seriously, I've never met someone in my entire life who seems to just have everything fall at his feet.  Don't get me wrong, this time it benefits us all, but it's really quite disgusting and several people I know will probably send me hate mail when they're done reading this.

Here's a few examples:
  • Hubby decides he'd like to learn to draw.  He gets a how-to book and some drawing supplies and voila!  He can draw.  I'm serious.  Just.like.that.
  • Hubby thinks he'll up and start a photography business with his best friend.  VOILA!  He got his first paying "real" gig a few weeks later with a local fire department (and he's done a few weddings and baby pictures on his own for friends that also paid).
  • Hubby wants to go for a ride in a ultra-light.  Some guy offers to take him up for free on his next flight and lets him fly.  This wasn't my idea and I seriously loathe the guy for fueling the fire.  If I ever see him out, my death rays will stop him cold.
  • Hubby is adored by everyone.  He's one of those guys that people inherently flock to because he's trustworthy, quiet and sincere.  This is not for the Hubby mentioned to get a big head.  I'm simply saying it's annoying, really (but in a sickeningly sweet way).
  • Hubby decides he wants to do a little job searching and see if he can get a bargaining chip to get more money since he's about 15K underpaid for his line of work and years of experience.  VOILA!  He gets TWO offers.  He interviewed on Friday with one company and gets an offer on Tuesday for 15K more than he's making.  The place he used to work found out he was looking again and contacted him and said they would give him what he needed money-wise as long as they could have him back.  Now he's faced with the daunting, oh-so-tiring task of playing them all against each other to see who has the highest bid.
I mean seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!  Since Hubby and I are married, why on earth is Murphy not joking on him, too?  If nothing else, Murphy is an in-law and I'm personally close to all of mine so Murphy is just being Murphy by leaving Hubby out of all this. 

I went to the doc today and got fairly good news.  He didn't seem too worried about an ulcer or hernia, but rather gave me the blanketed diagnosis of gastroenteritis (which essentially means he's got no clue until he takes a gander at my innards and squeezes all the money he can from insurance company).  I still have to have an ultrasound on Friday morning and go for an endoscopy next Wednesday (yes, the only day I have free from the kiddos and the only day I have to cook my obligated appetizers for Thanksgiving at my mom's).  I have to be put to sleep for it and can expect to be there for 3 hours.  Go me.  At least I'll get to sleep...

But, I'm seriously glad Hubby got the job offer.  As I mentioned, it benefits us all and puts us in a MUCH better position.  We've never been in much debt or lived above our means but it will certainly be nice to be able to put away for college (after all, Murphy wins in the future, too, with three kids in college practically at the same time), retirement (I'll be lucky if I make it), and family vacations (is there even such a thing?).  I might actually can spend a little money on a bra that doesn't scrape a hole in my back or have a strap that constantly falls down my shoulders (does aforementioned seriously even exist?).  That alone is enough to bring out the violence in me.

Better me dealing with Murphy than you, honey.  I'm happy to save you from this never ending torture.  Just remember, a good foot massage always has the potential to set my day right again, no matter how bad it was.  And one day?  If Murphy decides to come back and bite you in the butt...I simply don't know if I'll laugh or cry.

Probably both.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I need rehab

This week is going to be a really chaotic week (just the kind of stress I need right now, huh?).  I realized this morning with Hubby on a business trip until tomorrow night, I needed all the energy I could get, so I fell off the wagon.

Funny, I even went through caffeine withdrawal headaches and everything only to start drinking again.  HA, I really do know what junkies feel like now, I just never thought I'd be a tea junky.  I mean, my father was an alcoholic and druggy, so I have the addiction gene, but tea?  Even if it is imported South African tea and the absolute smoothest, yummiest stuff I've ever tasted in my life, looks like I could give it up for awhile for the sake of a possible ulcer right?  Yeah, apparently not.  But, on the positive side, at least it is just tea!

Hubby left for a business trip this morning and will be returning late tomorrow evening.  Tomorrow during the day, I get to start the day off with Cupcakes 4 month checkup (complete with shots), my gastro doc appointment tomorrow afternoon.  Wednesday is church and preparing for a craft show on Thursday.  Thursday is the craft show.  Friday is reserved for any test the gastro doc wants to do.  Saturday is Cupcakes 3 month...er...4 month pictures that we never got around to.  Sunday, church.  Somewhere in between all this I have to find time to do Thanksgiving food shopping, take down my ...ahem...Halloween decorations, and finish the NANO, which take precedence for me right now since I don't do much for myself these days and I'm only about 6000 words away from being FINITO!

Thankfully, my awesome mother-in-law has offered to take my kiddos next Wednesday, which I will have to be doing some cooking and such for Thanksgiving at my mom's (just stick a fork in me, I'll be done for sure after that!), and hopefully be able to get a few days of rest while family is up from Florida and will no doubt want to see the kids.  As it stands, I'm going 90 to nothing for the next week and a half, so if you see me around this blog after tomorrow (I'll post a doc update), rest assured it's 100% certain I'm avoiding doing something far more important.

If I decide to be responsible, Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Pray for me, please!

Well, I didn't post yesterday mainly because I had another attack night before last and wound up in the ER for 5 hours.  I walked away afterwards with not a lot of information, less sleep only to have to go to my family doc almost as soon as I woke up.  I was going on about 3 hours of sleep the whole night.

My family doc is concerned I have a hiatal hernia or an ulcer.  My gallbladder doesn't cause the symptoms I'm having, so joy of joy's I get to go to the gastroenterologist and start a battery of tests on Tuesday.  I'm probably going to have to do a barium swallow first and if that doesn't show anything, an endoscopy is probably next.  Of course, I prefer the pill cam but I doubt I'll get off that easy, cause you know how Murphy loves me!

So...I don't get my morning cup of tea anymore - it was time to stop relying on that every morning anyway.  I'm back on the Nexium and feel a lot better this morning except for the caffeine withdrawal headache from the tea.  Wouldn't it figure I try to do something good for myself by getting off the Nexium and not relying so much on medications, only to cause myself an ulcer or worse.  UGH.  Anyway, I digress.

So I say all of this to say please pray for me.  My mom won't be coming to help me, I've made arrangements so I don't have to "bother" her during all of this.  Whatever is in the near future for me I just pray, and ask that you do as well, that it will be diagnosed with the least amount of invasiveness as possible.  I'm fairly confident it's nothing overly serious, but I'm more worried about all those stupid tests I'll have to do.

And at some point I suppose I need to shower today.  I think it's been since Wednesday morning.  G.R.O.S.S.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mother gripe

Ok, so remember how I mentioned I think I'm having gallbladder problems?  I call my mom after church to see if she could come stay with me next week since Hubby will be on an overnight business trip and I've got my doc's appointment.  No doubt I will probably have to schedule a few additional appointments for tests and such next week as well.  All she had to do was pack her bags and I'd come pick her up.

Her response?  "Well..................I GUESS I could come for a day or two, but I really need to be sewing."  (She has a doll clothing line she sells on ebay for literally next to nothing and makes NO money at it at all - not to mention my step-dad has told me before that she doesn't do as much as she tells me she does.)  So it was a big fat excuse again.

I'm sorry.  I hate to keep complaining about things, but my mom is one sore subject.  I grew up in a NOT FUN household with her and after 28 years I just can't get past how my mom often acts like she HATES me.  I know she doesn't.  I know it was how she was raised and how she was never given the opportunity I've been given to get out of a dead beat town and explore LIFE.

I constantly have to rely on my in-laws for things.  My sister in law already graciously accepted watching the kids during my appointment Tuesday and she works from home making real money.  I waste her valuable time having to ask her to watch them while I go to stinkin' appointments all the time.  She's never complained and always seemed happy to do it for me.  Thank you, Melissa.  I was TRYING to save you from having to come over but it looks like my plan has gone up in smoke.

But why oh why can't my mother WANT to spend time with me and her grandchildren?  I got a bum dad AND a bum mom.  Boy, I sure did get lucky in the parental department, huh?  But you know, I still say that all of that led me here where I am today.

I'll always feel an empty space where my mother should be.  We've never been close and while I can admit that I don't all I could to make sure we are, it began long before I had the social skills to maintain a relationship.  And furthermore, it shouldn't be all on me.  She should get off her lazy behind sometime and make something happen for herself.  Stop making all those excuses because it requires effort.  I honestly can't imagine EVER not wanting to be with my kids.  If any of them lived only two hours away, no matter what my circumstance, I'd do everything I could to see them at least every few weeks.

Would you, or am I being obtuse?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mindless boredom

Seriously people.  I'm all sorts of bored here in my neck of the woods.  The strange part?  I've got a to-do list a mile long.  I left off scrap booking for my children somewhere around Punky's fourth day of life.  Almost three years and two more kids later, I've got a bin FULL of stuff that I need to put in them, not to mention all that cutesy expensive stuff like stickers and colorful paper.  Why don't I just do it, you ask?  Good question.  When I figure out the answer I'll let you know.

And weight watchers?  Yeah.  Bored with that, too, which scares the pants off me.  I'll get to 139.5 and lose my motivation again because I'm "in the one-thirties" again.  UGH.  I've been in the "one-thirties" again approximately 3 point four times and blow it.  I told myself earlier today I was just going to have to quit trying until the new year.  Then I made myself cookies.  And now I feel like butt.  Yes, butt.  I always feel this way after I eat junk and I don't know why it's so appealing to me.

And last night I had one of those weird, scary episodes i had when I was pregnant and my OB thought it was my gallbladder.  Up until last night I was certain this was just the heartburn. And since I'm off all medication for that it made sense that it was still just that.  But then it kept getting worse and worse until we had to call the in-laws to sit with the kids so I could go to the hospital.  About 10 minutes later, it subsided and was over so I didn't go.  It seems too high to be heartburn, which I'm good and familiar with, but after drinking some Maalox, that's when it went away.  Oh well, I've got a gastroenterologist appointment next Tuesday that will hopefully get to the bottom of it.  All I can say is that better not EVER happen again or I'll take whatever it is in there out myself.

And have you ever had one of those annoying jumping muscles in your body that just drives you CRAZY?  I've got one of those on the inside of my right knee right now and it's driving me positively batty.  

I think I need prozac.

What else is on my to-do list?  Let's see....
1.  Finish up the rest of the hair bows I need to get done before the craft show next Thursday.
2.  Clean house (this is not necessarily second on my list, it's a slippery little sucker that sometimes falls right to the bottom)
3.  Inject muscle relaxer directly into offending muscle in knee
4.  Take a shower (sadly, this one tends to battle with #2 for dead last on my to-do list).  I mean, am I seriously the only person on EARTH who only showers like MAYBE 3 times a week?  If I know you, don't EVER tell me you read this.  On second thought, even if I don't know you don't ever tell me you read this.
5.  Organize almost every aspect of my life - from house, to hair bows to kids.
6.  Figure out a way to make more money.  Now that you-know-who is going to be in office, financial security is no longer in our vocabulary.
7.  Finish writing book for NaNoWriMo.  WILL.FINISH.
8.  Get more sleep.
9.  Invent disposable clothing so I NEVER have to wash clothes again.  Seriously, if they can come up with disposable diapers and disposable bibs, we can do clothes, too.  It's the wave of the future, just you wait.
10.  Get out of my funk.  It can't last much longer or can it?

There are a million other REAL things I have to do (like Christmas shopping, etc), but none of those seemed blog worthy.

Well, it's time I wrap up and get started doing....

NOTHING.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Calling all critique partners!

I'm in need of a few critique partners for my latest WIP.  If anyone is interested in reading a romance, please let me know.  I'm looking for possibly 3 people to exchange work with.  I've been out of the writing loop for awhile, so I need some people to keep me motivated and my brain active (and to be understanding since I have three kids under 3 right now).

Let's get it on, people!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Oh Hubby Dear...I do love you.

I don't talk about Hubby very often. Usually not at all because quite frankly he asked me not to. But today, I find myself unable to keep that promise.

Hubby has an odd sense of humor. To be honest, that's part of why I love him so much. For the most part, we mesh quite well in that department. Well, except for movies. He's more of a Jim Carrey or a Adam Sandler kinda guy where I'm more of a realistic kind of humor. But I digress.

The one thing we can always agree on is bodily function humor. I know, all you loyal readers out there probably think I'm obsessed with that. I've said it before. And, maybe I really am, but I simply can't NOT laugh at a kid passing gas, or my husband coming up with new phrases.

He's never been much of a baby person. Cupcake is sleeping through the night now so things are better in our house, but Hubby simply doesn't like the baby stage. He says after 6 months he's ok, but he likes it when he can wrestle with them and rough house. So anytime Cupcake utters a peep he comes up with a new nickname.

The phrase for the day?

Butt Nugget. Butt.Nugget. Cupcake is Daddy's little Butt Nugget.

The second Hubby called her this I couldn't help it. I died laughing. I mean, father's are supposed to be all smitten with their little girls and call them stuff like Princess and Sweetheart or Cupcake. But my hubby with the odd sense of humor?

Butt Nugget.

Sorry, Cupcake. When you read this, I promise this is your father's way of saying I heart you. I see the telltale look in his eyes when you smile at him and despite his effort to the contrary is enjoying every minute of being with you.

I just hope he doesn't call you this on your wedding day...

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Near death experience


Meet Mr. Cat, our first casualty of the day.

I barely managed to rescue him from Chicken's evil clutches as he mercilessly gave him a swirly in the toilet just to see the water dripping from his fur onto the bathroom floor while laughing his evil baby laugh (how else did you think I knew he was up to no good?).  I also rescued a sock and what appeared to be dental floss.

Poor, poor Mr. Cat.  This doesn't bode well for any future pets we may have.

But don't worry, no drowning of real animals was done while blogging this post.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Losing it

Will somebody tell my brain that THIS is not Cupcake?  While doing the dishes I looked up and saw this and immediately thought, "Oh no, how long has she been up?  I FORGOT ABOUT HER, she's been so quiet!  Did I feed her, is it time for her to go to sleep?  Wait a minute....it's not moving...."

Apparently Punky was playing house and this is what I get for letting her have some of her old preemie/newborn clothes to put on her doll.  

Sad, huh?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

What to do?

For those of you stay at home moms...

Do you ever feel like life is passing you by?  I know I've said a million times I can't stand it when people take their kids for granted.  And I don't - there is something every day that makes me stop and say Thank You GOD for my babies.  But that doesn't mean I don't have times where I want my cake and eat it too.  A career for me was pretty much doomed from birth.  I've always wanted to be a mommy and I enjoy it.  I hated school and just survived until I got married and decided I couldn't justify the money anymore to just "get by."  A writing career is something I still dream about...mainly because I really can have my cake and eat it, too.  It's a job I can do from home and it's a passion of mine.

But somedays it seems like everyone else is just living their life, having fun and enjoying their hobbies when I'm stuck with a mountain of laundry, 12 dirty diapers, dishes, and bottle feedings.  It sounds like the ultimate cliche, doesn't it?  But I guess there's a reason for those overused phrases - they really are true!  I'm lucky if I have 1 or 2 nights a month to just sit and write...or read.  I even had to multi-task today between reading the newest Nicholas Spark's book (the first book I've read in over 6 months) and watching my soaps.  Every spare minute I have is so precious these days.

I mean, I totally understand that I'm selfish in saying all this, but this is my blog so I get to be selfish on it occasionally.  With all the cancer around me, being another year older, and knowing our family is done growing, I don't know how to face the fact that I don't really have any more "milestones" in my life.  Someone told me once when I said this, "Well, you get to become a grandma."  Ok, yeah.  I do.  But that's my children's milestones, not mine, nor is it guaranteed that my children will ever have children.  Surely out of three kids, at least one of them will have some, so the odds are in my favor but still.  So, exactly what is my next milestone?  I have approximately 20 years stretched out before me and it doesn't look all that great.  Keep in mind, I'm not talking about parenting or my children in this rant, but rather ME and MY life.  I quit college because I didn't like it and I don't really regret it...I more regret the fact that I couldn't make myself enjoy it.  I don't have time for writing.  I don't have many hobbies other than writing.  My "hairbow" business is pretty much up in smoke before it even began (not a single sell out of 57 items on the site yet!).  Where will I be when my children are grown?  What will I do when they're not here any more to fill the void?

If someone knows the answer to that question or can suggest a good self-help book on an early-life crisis, please leave a comment.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Happy birthday to me?

So, uh, yeah.  Having a birthday on Halloween when you're a kid is cool.  You get to have the cool dress-up parties, get to eat cake AND candy, but...

...when you get, say, around twenty eight Halloween birthday's just aren't so cool anymore.  Last year I had a halloween play date for my kids and my friends very kindly brought gifts and such.  This year I requested none of that...quite simply because the play date wasn't about me but rather our kids and their enjoyment.  My gift is watching my children in their little costumes having their friends over and having fun.  My butt doesn't need the cake anymore.  My gut doesn't hear my brain's cadence of "just say no" when it comes to candy.  Weight watchers doesn't wait for birthday's.

We spent Halloween day (my birthday) in my hometown with my mom - which was a surprise for her.  It was a very odd day, but good to let the kids spend time with my parents.  It's a two hour drive and all but 45 minutes of it was spent listening Cupcake screaming her head off.  We've discovered the car isn't her favorite place to be.  When we got there, she slept 45 minutes here and there and was so overtired I think her vocal chords decided to go to sleep on the way home.  Thankfully she slept the whole way.  Punky and Chicken slept a whopping 45 minutes all day but were pretty good considering.  We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant where I got serenaded in espanol by some hispanic dudes.  I even got to wear a sombrero for all the on-lookers to laugh at me.  Punky and Chicken didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Hubby presented me with my brand new iTrip for my ipod in the car.  Numero dos on my birthday list.  Oh yeah, and my parents found out their dog died while they took my kids out to see him.  Oops.  He's not asleep in his doghouse kids, he bit the dust.  At least he hadn't started to stink yet.

The day was a pretty stressful one, spending 4 hours in the car for a 5 hour visit.  But my mom was thrilled to spend the day with them and see them in their costumes.  Because of the local high school football games, all the trick or treating was done on Thursday, the night before we were there, so the kids didn't get to do any.  We still somehow managed to get a whole pumpkin PLUS a variety candy bag in our house (seriously, how did that happen?!).  I wonder if the cows out behind my house eat candy?  Since they have four stomach's and all, I figure they could use it more than I can.

How was your Halloween?