Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What I learned in 2008

10.  I can deliver my third child in as many years (who, last year, made the list for my accomplishment in being the 0.01% of women who get pregnant on birth control).

9.  I can lose weight (gaining it back doesn't count now, see my last post!).

8.  I can become a part of something, namely the Passionate Critter's online critique group.  This above all else has motivated more than anything has in years to become what I've always dreamed of - a writer.  You're awesome, girls!

7.  I can stay mostly sane while raising three kids under three...well, a little anyway.

6.  I can move into a new house while 7 months pregnant.  It gave a whole new meaning to nesting!

5.  I can fall even more in love with Hubby.  I love to see him smile.

4.  I won't die if I puke.  My brain still thinks I can but last week proved that's not always the case.

3.  I can live without a gallbladder.

2.  I have an amazing network of friends and family who, despite my protests and contradictions love me.  Maybe just part of me, but they love me nonetheless.

1.  I have, quite simply, a great life.


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

At least I lost weight

During the holidays, I stressed because out of the 6 pounds it took me 4 months to lose, I had gained 5 back.  I was seriously contemplating a temporary life of anorexia (because, let's just face it, with a phobia of puking, bulimia is out of the question).  I was quite angry with myself for letting it happened, began stressing over the fact that if I finally did get the 15-20 pounds off that I've been working for, it would just come right back. But now....oh, now I know the secret.

You just get a stomach virus followed by a cold.  Snot might not have much nutritional value, but it sure does curb the appetite.

6 pounds in 14 days is a number I will certainly take!  I even, at one point, saw a 1-3-8 together again for the first time since right after Punky was born.  It was a happy reunion.  Of course, that was when my colon decided it was on strike and hubby confirmed his theory:

I really was full of crap.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Christmas that never really was

I have to say, this could quite possibly have been the worst Christmas I've ever had.  It even rivals the Christmas I had chicken pox and I didn't think that was possible.

Let's see, where to begin?  You all know I had surgery on the 17th.  I was healing up really well when I made my last post.  Low and behold, that night I went to get my nails done, I started feeling really bad.  I had a horrible headache all day and it was getting worse and I was also getting REALLY nauseous.  By 11 pm I was puking and by 1 am I was running a fever.  All day Christmas Eve was spent in bed feeling gross and trying not to do more than breathe.  Thanks to me, Hubby had to take yet another day off work to take care of the kids.

Christmas Day was relatively ok.  Cupcake threw up that morning but I think now it's because we forgot her reflux medicine instead of her getting the virus.  The kids enjoyed their presents but because of the large crowd at my in-law's house with some 15+ children and the contamination I was sure they had, we stayed home and Hubby went over to eat Christmas dinner.  I was by myself and still feeling pretty rotten although better.

Thankfully, no one else got sick overnight.  We spent the day with my side of the family on the 26th.  It was a crazy day but by that night, my sinus's started bothering me.  I thought at first maybe it was something in my parent's house as they're always burning candles or incense.  Nope.  By the time we left the house I was in a full blown sinus attack: sneezing, coughing, watery and itchy eyes.  UGH.  I'm still plagued with it and it doesn't seem to be getting any better to be quite honest.

There's more to it - the lack of eating during all this has left me ridiculously weak, needing to take some antibiotics that upset my stomach, etc., that I have just felt like BUTT for a week and a half now.  I'm so ready to just feel like myself again.  And I'm definitely ready for my immune system to get back to where it needs to be.  I don't really feel like I'm ready for Hubby to go back to work yet, but he's got to go back at some point and all this has left him negative on leave.  I'm praying the new toys will occupy them so I don't have to do too much tomorrow.

The important thing during all of this is we enjoyed plenty of together time (probably not quite what Hubby had in mind given my absence, however), and we all had a great Christmas gift wise.  Let's just hope New Year's is better for me!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Sour much?

It's no secret, I don't allow my kids to be picky eaters.  It's as simple as that.  They eat a reasonable amount of food on their plate (I don't make them clean it, I don't think that's healthy, either), but they either eat their veggies, throw up, or go to bed hungry.  I was never made to eat when I was little and my kids won't be unhealthy.

It's also not a secret that I waited as long as possible to start Cupcake on solids.  I don't know why it's such a burden to me to feed them solids, but it is.  I guess it's just one more thing on my endless to-do list that must get done.  I've started seeing signs that Cupcake was ready for solids and hungry even after formula, so I bit the bullet this morning and decided to start her on pears.  I've started all of my kiddos on pears.  Punky loved them, Chicken hated them and threw up for a week every time I gave them to him, and Cupcake...well the above picture pretty much speaks for itself.  She wasn't a fan.

And she promptly threw up right after this picture was taken.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Time waits for no one

I'm pretty much healed from my surgery.  My incisions are still sore so it hurts to lift my rather large children, but as the title says...time waits for no one.  Today was hubby's first day back to work since my surgery.  I had to hit the ground running.  I woke up at 7 and folded a weeks worth of laundry.  I fed my kiddos.  I did dishes.  I'm doing more laundry.  I still have to squeeze in some Christmas crafts with the kids because after tomorrow, we're going to have three days of Christmas celebrations with our families.  The 24th and 25th with Hubby's family, and the 26th with my family.

*Sigh*  Punky is getting so big and has an even bigger heart.  She found out accidentally that my favorite thing in the world is to have someone brush my hair, so every night since my surgery, she has gotten her brush after her bath and stood behind me on the couch and brushed my hair.  Occasionally, she'll lean around and smile at me and say, "Does this make you feel all better, Mommy?"  The hair brushing goes a long way, sweetheart, but that smile of yours makes Mommy's boo boo's all better.

Chicken is obsessed with looking at my bandaged stomach.  He loves to grab my shirt and pull it up and exclaim loudly, "BAH BOO!" (roughly translated to boo boo).  He's not big on physical affection but there's nothing in the world that compares to the moment I walk into a room and he yells, "Mommy!" and comes running to me to hug my knees.  The day will come I will want to change my name, but right now, I cherish his sweet declarations and know that time is fleeting.  Before I know it, another woman will replace me and his trademark smile won't be here every day, lighting up the room.

Cupcake is growing by leaps and bounds.  She's only perfected rolling from her stomach to her back but she wants to do so much more.  We got her a bumbo seat for Christmas and I know she's going to love sitting up like her brother and sister.  She's such a mama's girl and can only tolerate Daddy and others in short increments before she wants me again.  I'm ok with that as long as she stays little a little longer.  Just this morning when I was burping her, she laid her little (ok, big) head on my shoulder and snuggled with me.  Her fuzzy hair tickled my cheek and when she raised up to look at me, she smiled that innocent baby smile - the purest form of happiness on earth.

Punky is most excited about Christmas.  She's spotted her wrapped presents and will gently touch them and look up at me, "What's under there, Mommy?"  I grin because I know Christmas is going to be wonderful for her this year because she finally gets it.  She's gotten everything she wanted on her list so far except moon sand and I'm not budging an inch on that one.  I don't think Chicken understands the anticipation of christmas this year, but I know when he gets to open his gifts, he's going to be in heaven.  

So, merry christmas to you!  May each of you get everything you wanted and spend these special times with family and friends!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

If Thy Gallbladder offends thee...

...pluck it out!

I'm back with one less organ.  I had surgery this morning and everything was very textbook and mechanical.  Surgery lasted a total of 38 minutes and I was in recovery, albeit a little sore from the gas and intubation.  The doc said I had a lot of small (1/8 of an inch) gallstones.  Those are probably the kind that are just small enough to get wedged in the ducts and cause problems later on, so I'm glad I had it done.  He also said it was really easy to get my gallbladder out (only 2 incisions instead of the normal 3 or 4!) because I had good anatomy and was so skinny.

Did I mention I'm marrying him?

And all that sleep and such I was looking forward to?  It ain't happenin'.  I slept a total of 15 minutes today aside from the surgery and have only needed one pain killer all stinkin' day.  I'm glad I'm not in any pain, but I'm certainly disappointed I can't sleep more.  I don't know if it's just the fact that the last time I had surgery I didn't have kids or what, but I can't seem to settle down enough to rest.  I've been up doing minimal parenting and feeding Cupcake but otherwise taking it easy.

My biggest complaint is I feel like they shoved the arm of a cactus down my throat!

Only one funny story to relate.  I just went to a surgery center, so it was very "numberish."  You get put in a cube with a curtain for a door and wait.  And wait.  And wait some more.  Then one by one you watch as the nurses move closer to your cube to take you.

And let me just tell you, the "happy" shot was good enough to make me contemplate becoming an addict...

Recovery was sort of the same way as pre-op only there was just curtains for walls instead of cubes.  Two people down from me was a fairly large aged man that I'm assuming had just had a colonoscopy.  The nurse kept saying really loud, "Bear down and push out the gas, sir!  Bear down like you're having a baby."

Even in my groggy, doped up state I was thinking:  Number one, he's a man.  Number two, he's never had a baby.  Number three, I'm REALLY glad he's not next to me.

Just give him a TV, a remote and rest will take care of itself.

I came home to one of my best friends bringing me some beautiful flowers.  My mother in law got us dinner.  And a few of my friends from church are bringing me dinner through Monday night.

It's times like this you realize how very blessed you are! (and not just because the fat man wasn't next to me!)

Thursday, December 11, 2008


It's official.  That little organ in my body that I'm sure serves SOME sort of vital importance (despite what the docs say) is getting removed.  On Wednesday.  The 17th.

Yes, that's 8 days before Christmas.  I hope the doc is right and my down time really will be 3-5 days.  It also gave me an awesome excuse to NOT have to do much during Christmas.  I'll probably only make a cheese ball and a few other things to take to my moms and otherwise claim maimed.

So, I ask that you say a prayer for me for a successful surgery and a speedy, painless recovery.  I'm quite a bit nervous...not about the surgery itself, but for those who know me and about my puking phobia....

As long as they keep me from puking afterwards, I can deal with anything!  (Funny how that works, huh?)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Nature? I think not...

When Punky was born, I rushed to her side every time she made a whimper.  I was terrified of her not breathing during the night.  I changed her bib every time she spit up (which was a LOT, let me just tell you.).  I changed her diaper when she passed gas.  After all, something must have come out with that, right?  Crying it out was out of the question (and still is), because she gets so upset she throws up.  I was tough with discipline and was so consistent, I scared myself (or impressed I'm not sure which).  She got exactly 8 ounces of whole milk precisely at 7, 11, 3 and 7.  She slept from 7 pm to 7 am.  Bedtime has never, is never and will never be up for discussion with any of my kids.

Punky is my most demanding child but the easiest to mold.

When Chicken was born, he got thrown in the swing while Punky had toddled off to get into mischief (after all, she was only 13 months old when he was born).  I checked on him during the night when I got up to pee to make sure he was still breathing.  I change his diaper only when it's sagging between his knees.  I had three kids in diapers earlier this year, I know the value of a dollar these days.  He gets to cry it out (within reason) when he's going to bed or being left in Bible class.  The discipline was dropped to only the worst offenses and only if I wasn't feeding Cupcake (but I'm getting better and so is he).  When he decides he's ready to do something he does it (like potty training, he's doing great!) He gets approximately 8 ounces of milk 3 or 4 times a day.  He sleeps from 7 pm to 8 am.

Chicken gets his feelings hurt easily but is my most independent child.

When Cupcake was born, I hit the ground running.  She gets thrown in the bouncy seat to entertain herself because the swing no longer works.  I slept like a rock after she was born - I don't even get up to pee.  I change her diaper MAYBE 4 times a day and usually only if she's poopy.  She has been left to cry it out when there has been no other option, but has proven to me that she's more stubborn than I am in this regard.  She's a thumbsucker and usually doesn't require much soothing unless she's overtired.  She gets a 6 ounce bottle at 8, 12, 4 and 7.  She might or might not drink it all.  She sleeps from 7 pm to 8 am.

Cupcake is my most content baby but also my most vocal.

Every day I realized more and more how every decision I make molds my children into the adults they will one day become.  God has bestowed a huge responsibility and blessing on me to give me that opportunity.  Raising my voice to get my kids attention will ultimately teach them to be bossy and yell (Punky is a mini-me and we're both having to work through this).  Saying NO, CHICKEN all the time results in Chicken's first sentence of "No Pobby!"  (No potty) after telling him he couldn't go potty for the 103rd time in an hour.  EVERYTHING affects our children.  I'm not saying there isn't nature.  Disposition is nature but that doesn't mean it's not our responsibility to mold their disposition once they're here.  It's scary yet exhilarating all at the same time.  I look forward to seeing who my children are in 20 years.

You do the you think it's nature or nurture?  

Monday, December 8, 2008

Feeling sorry for myself...again.

I've been away for awhile,  haven't I?  I did the blog giveaway last week to allow me to NOT blog for a week so I could get caught up.  What happened?  I got further behind.  Christmas threw up in my house.  Chicken keeps slicing his finger open on some unknown Christmas object he finds fascinating.  He refuses to tell me what it is.

Chicken has also discovered he's ready to "bobby."  That means "Potty" for those of you who don't speak Chicken.  He tells me when he needs to go although it's not every time.  Toddler underwear in his stocking, there will be.

I'm also a week late for my cycle.  Don't get all excited.  Hubby's been neutered, so I should be in the clear.  But I'm figuring my PCOS is back.  It explains the "funk" I've been in (hormones going crazy), the horrific sweet cravings (not a new thing there, but it's almost impossible to resist these days), my hair falling out, irritability, and the list goes on.  It's depressing (did I mention the depression?).  Between each of my pregnancies and my last three cycles, I've had perfect 28 cycles.  I felt great.  And now, everything is out of whack again.  I mean, what else could go wrong?  I'm losing track of all my medical problems.  This week alone, I have a urologist appointment and my surgeon appointment for the gallbladder surgery.  I'm so weepy it's pathetic.  

Everyone tells me, "Oh, I never had a problem with my cycles after I had kids, they were perfect."  Coming from women who had problems like I did before they had kids.  My mom, my mother in law, several of my friends...I was convinced when they came back normal that I was going to be like them.  Apparently not.

I've got a call into my OB/GYN to ask his advice on what to do.  We decreased my medication for PCOS and I'm wondering if that has anything to do with it.  Or the fact I didn't lactate longer (apparently that helps PCOS).  I'm so thoroughly disgusted with my body I could puke.

I guess never eating vegetables is catching up with me.

Friday, December 5, 2008

And the winner is....

....DysFUNctional Mom!  Please email me with your preference - you can choose between the first book in the series or two tickets to see the movie.  If you choose the book, please email me your  address.

If I don't hear from you by Monday at noon, another winner will be chosen!  So hurry it up!  ;oD

Stay tuned...

Punky and I are about to announce the winners...they should be up no later than noon central time...

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Twilight Christmas Giveaway

Ahhh...this is hard for me to admit and I don't even know why now. But I'm totally on the Twilight bandwagon now. I heard all the hype, scoffed, turned my nose up, thought I was too old, you know. What could possibly be so intriguing about a silly little high school vampire book/movie. And what could possibly be written in them that hasn't already been written a bazillion times before?

Well, let me tell you. It starts with Edward and ends with Cullen.

I chose to read the first book over Thanksgiving (in 2 days I might add). From about page 10, I was sucked in. I couldn't put the thing down. It was like Edward was "dazzling" me right through the pages (if you've read it, you know what I'm referring to, here). Bella was so sweet and awkward and charmingly clumsy that I couldn't help be intrigued. I simply can't explain to you how good this book is. I'm chomping at the bit to read the others in the series, but I've asked for them for Christmas so I have to wait a few more weeks (so no one better spoil it for me!). And if no one gets them for me, I'm going to be one grumpy mama come christmas day!

So immediately after I finished reading the book on Saturday, I bought tickets for me, hubby, my sister in law, brother in law and cousin for the 8:30 showing that night. I have to admit, I was shocked by how much the movie was like the book, right down to their conversations. Of course, there were small differences, but nothing that jeopardized the integrity of the book.

The only bad thing about the movie was this: Bella's blinking drove me absurdly mad. I wanted her to do nothing more than get whatever it was out of her eyes! And Edward - don't hate me people - just wasn't what I envisioned. Hubby thought he did a great job of portraying a vampire, but in all honesty, he just didn't do it for me. If I saw that Edward in the school parking lot, I wouldn't have given him a second glance. Now, don't get me wrong. He was passable. He had his moments when he and Bella's relationship grew more comfortable that he relaxed and wasn't so awkward. But the Edward in the book didn't seem so awkward to me. 100 year old vampire awkward, yes. Retarded awkward, no.

Personally, after seeing Shane West in A Walk to Remember, I think he would have made a much better Edward and done a better interpretation. But that's just my opinion, so don't get your panties in a wad.

So, in light of this holiday season (and Hubby's raise), I'm holding a belated giveaway to get all of you lurkers and commenters alike to have a chance to get to know Bella and Edward. The winner can choose between the first book in the series, or 2 movie tickets specifically for Twilight. All you have to do is leave me a comment and I will randomly draw a name. If you have a blog and link me on your site, you can leave me a second comment telling me about the link and you will be entered in the drawing twice. The deadline is December 4th at noon CENTRAL TIME to enter. The winner will be announced on Friday, December 5, 2008. This post will remain up until then in order for me to give everyone an opportunity to comment and get your names in the drawing!

Good luck!


Holy cow, I did it. I ACTUALLY DID IT, PEOPLE! I, Stephanie, finished the NaNoWriMo. Not just finished, WON. I'm ecstatic. I'm excited. I'm all giddy-schoolgirl-like. I'm...horrified!

Yes, horrified. If I can finish a novel consisting of 50,000 words (51,726 to be exact), what excuse could I possibly give myself or anyone else not to finish the rest that lay in waiting in the little folder on my desktop creatively entitled "Manuscripts"?

I'm actually really excited about the book. I didn't do a conventional NaNoWriMo. I actually just used this month to finish this one up. It was already about 35,000 words before I started. But progress is progress and I have about 30 other ones that far along that I need to work on, too. At this rate I'll be done in...30 years!

I have some other really exciting news. I was accepted to a really amazing critique group . I've only been a member for a week and I can tell you right now, these ladies are so wonderful. I can be myself and joke without them getting all offended. In fact, they actually seem to enjoy my sense of humor (I know, give them time.). I have no doubt that this is the next step I needed to make in my writing career. Hopefully, with these wonderful women to help me, I'll be able to get published much sooner! Now if I could just get un-intimidated...

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! My gallbladder tolerated everything ok on Thanksgiving Day, but shopping at 6:00 am on Black Friday having a mild (thank goodness) attack got a little tricky.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Things I'm thankful for this year:

In no particular order:

10.  Hubby's raise

9.  My hubby and babies

8.  Hubby's raise

7.  I'm writing (and reading) again.

6.  Hubby's raise

5.  My relatively good health.

4.  Hubby's raise

3.  My church family and friends.

2.  Hubby's raise

1.  I'm not pregnant again this year.  This is the first Thanksgiving in 3 years I haven't been pregnant.

I intend to enjoy it as much as my gallbladder will allow.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Living with the barest of essentials, Stephanie Style

In 4th grade, my vision blurred.  I needed glasses.

In 5th grade, I had 4 permanent teeth removed to make room for the rest of my teeth.

In 6th grade I got braces.

In 7th grade, I replaced glasses with contacts and have worn them ever since.

In 8th grade, I got my braces removed.

The year after I graduated, I got my 4 wisdom teeth pulled.  Yes, that makes 8 permanent teeth removed from my head.

In 2001 I was diagnosed with PCOS.

In 2004, two days after Christmas, I had surgery to remove parts of my ovaries so I could get pregnant.  Apparently, it worked like a charm.

In 2006 I removed Punky from my body.

In 2007 I booted Chicken.

In 2008 I evicted Cupcake.

Now, it appears in 2009, possibly even before the end of this year if I have my way, I (well, the doctor) will be removing my gallbladder.  My ultrasound revealed stones therefore the perfect explanation to my intense heartburn and those intense attacks I've been having.

Talk about getting old.  Apparently I know now what my next milestone in life is:  Getting things removed or replaced.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Oil and Water

Remember hubby's task of getting all his new job prospects to give him the most money?  Well, his current place of employment wanted him so bad they BEAT the offer by $1100!!!  So now we're going to be around $1000 richer every month and will make for a lot less stress!

So I decide upon hearing the news that I must celebrate by buying new clothes.  After giving birth to Cupcake, everything has shifted to places that I didn't know I had and nothing fits right.  It sucks.  I must have tried on 50 shirts.  That's all I really needed until I lose the rest of my weight (which will have to be after the first of the year, duh).

I slowly came to the realization that I just don't know what I should wear and no amounts of watching What Not to Wear will clue me in.  No one on that show has ever been shaped like me.  They use comparison of the apple vs the pear shape but they have NEVER EVER dealt with the Humpty Dumpty shape.  I'm not kidding, stop laughing.  Big boobs, big belly, sticks for limbs, flat butt, back fat that looks like your head is on backwards.  I mean, has anyone else in the history of the world been shaped as oddly as me?  Sure, you can say you are or know someone but I'll just flat out tell ya right now to get over yourself.  I've definitely got you beat.

I did find a couple of shirts that I thought would look good AFTER I bought that gut cinching corset that I'm convinced was three sizes too small even though it said XL (it's amazing how two little letters can be such a blow to your ego).  But apparently corsets don't actually get RID of your fat, it just squishes it somewhere else.  I didn't get the memo on that one.

I stood outside of Old Navy at our local "hip" hangout and observed people who looked to be around my age.  They wore their skinny jeans tucked in their cute little furry boots.  They wore layers that intimidated me that I would never be able to match up if my life depended on it.  They had cute accessories that I instantly loved on them but would hate on me.  But one thing that I did notice I had that blended in was the hip hair do.  My stylist is just simply amazing.  I got it cut Saturday morning before my shopping adventure and thought after getting it cut, it would somehow make clothes look better on me.  What was I thinking?  A t-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes does a cute bob stacked in the back a serious injustice.  I looked down right frumpy.

So even though I joked about it before, I realized this weekend with certainty I'm old.  Not necessarily physically, but mentally.  I'd rather spend the money on my kids than deal with having to figure out what I'm supposed to be wearing.  Looking stylish is work.  Women like OHMommy intimidates me with their stilettos and chic clothes.  I need those people to be my personal shoppers or at the very least give me a do and don't list.

Clothes and me?  Oil and water, baby.  

Friday, November 21, 2008

Oh, Son...

Dear Chicken,

This year for Christmas, we will be buying you MANY boy toys.  Among them will be guns, noisy *annoying* robots and dinosaurs, cars, action figures, etc.  We must somehow convey to you that discarding your batman costume with a really cool mask (see bottom right of picture) only to replace it with your sisters white dress shoes is not acceptable.  And that tutu you wanted to put on this morning?  I burned it when Punky wasn't looking.

And perhaps, if you're really good, we'll throw in some pants as a stocking stuffer.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Top Ten Ways to Know You're Getting Old - from personal experience

10.  You find a new gray hair everyday.  Apparently pulling them out does make two grow back, only in strategic places on your head.

9.  Your done having kids.

8.  Your boobs sag.

7.  You have heartburn all the time.

6.  Stress gives you possible ulcers.

5.  Sex makes your knees hurt.

4.  You have hemorroids.  Thanks, Punky, Chicken and Cupcake.  Appreciate it.  (Sorry, TMI)

3.  You're fingers cramp up when you try to do something like make baby bracelets.

2.  Drinking caffeine at 5 pm gives you insomnia until 2 am.

1.  You look forward to all the rest you'll get in the nursing home.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Chosen One

Silver platter is to Hubby as Murphy is to me.

Seriously, I've never met someone in my entire life who seems to just have everything fall at his feet.  Don't get me wrong, this time it benefits us all, but it's really quite disgusting and several people I know will probably send me hate mail when they're done reading this.

Here's a few examples:
  • Hubby decides he'd like to learn to draw.  He gets a how-to book and some drawing supplies and voila!  He can draw.  I'm serious.
  • Hubby thinks he'll up and start a photography business with his best friend.  VOILA!  He got his first paying "real" gig a few weeks later with a local fire department (and he's done a few weddings and baby pictures on his own for friends that also paid).
  • Hubby wants to go for a ride in a ultra-light.  Some guy offers to take him up for free on his next flight and lets him fly.  This wasn't my idea and I seriously loathe the guy for fueling the fire.  If I ever see him out, my death rays will stop him cold.
  • Hubby is adored by everyone.  He's one of those guys that people inherently flock to because he's trustworthy, quiet and sincere.  This is not for the Hubby mentioned to get a big head.  I'm simply saying it's annoying, really (but in a sickeningly sweet way).
  • Hubby decides he wants to do a little job searching and see if he can get a bargaining chip to get more money since he's about 15K underpaid for his line of work and years of experience.  VOILA!  He gets TWO offers.  He interviewed on Friday with one company and gets an offer on Tuesday for 15K more than he's making.  The place he used to work found out he was looking again and contacted him and said they would give him what he needed money-wise as long as they could have him back.  Now he's faced with the daunting, oh-so-tiring task of playing them all against each other to see who has the highest bid.
I mean seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!  Since Hubby and I are married, why on earth is Murphy not joking on him, too?  If nothing else, Murphy is an in-law and I'm personally close to all of mine so Murphy is just being Murphy by leaving Hubby out of all this. 

I went to the doc today and got fairly good news.  He didn't seem too worried about an ulcer or hernia, but rather gave me the blanketed diagnosis of gastroenteritis (which essentially means he's got no clue until he takes a gander at my innards and squeezes all the money he can from insurance company).  I still have to have an ultrasound on Friday morning and go for an endoscopy next Wednesday (yes, the only day I have free from the kiddos and the only day I have to cook my obligated appetizers for Thanksgiving at my mom's).  I have to be put to sleep for it and can expect to be there for 3 hours.  Go me.  At least I'll get to sleep...

But, I'm seriously glad Hubby got the job offer.  As I mentioned, it benefits us all and puts us in a MUCH better position.  We've never been in much debt or lived above our means but it will certainly be nice to be able to put away for college (after all, Murphy wins in the future, too, with three kids in college practically at the same time), retirement (I'll be lucky if I make it), and family vacations (is there even such a thing?).  I might actually can spend a little money on a bra that doesn't scrape a hole in my back or have a strap that constantly falls down my shoulders (does aforementioned seriously even exist?).  That alone is enough to bring out the violence in me.

Better me dealing with Murphy than you, honey.  I'm happy to save you from this never ending torture.  Just remember, a good foot massage always has the potential to set my day right again, no matter how bad it was.  And one day?  If Murphy decides to come back and bite you in the butt...I simply don't know if I'll laugh or cry.

Probably both.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I need rehab

This week is going to be a really chaotic week (just the kind of stress I need right now, huh?).  I realized this morning with Hubby on a business trip until tomorrow night, I needed all the energy I could get, so I fell off the wagon.

Funny, I even went through caffeine withdrawal headaches and everything only to start drinking again.  HA, I really do know what junkies feel like now, I just never thought I'd be a tea junky.  I mean, my father was an alcoholic and druggy, so I have the addiction gene, but tea?  Even if it is imported South African tea and the absolute smoothest, yummiest stuff I've ever tasted in my life, looks like I could give it up for awhile for the sake of a possible ulcer right?  Yeah, apparently not.  But, on the positive side, at least it is just tea!

Hubby left for a business trip this morning and will be returning late tomorrow evening.  Tomorrow during the day, I get to start the day off with Cupcakes 4 month checkup (complete with shots), my gastro doc appointment tomorrow afternoon.  Wednesday is church and preparing for a craft show on Thursday.  Thursday is the craft show.  Friday is reserved for any test the gastro doc wants to do.  Saturday is Cupcakes 3 month pictures that we never got around to.  Sunday, church.  Somewhere in between all this I have to find time to do Thanksgiving food shopping, take down my ...ahem...Halloween decorations, and finish the NANO, which take precedence for me right now since I don't do much for myself these days and I'm only about 6000 words away from being FINITO!

Thankfully, my awesome mother-in-law has offered to take my kiddos next Wednesday, which I will have to be doing some cooking and such for Thanksgiving at my mom's (just stick a fork in me, I'll be done for sure after that!), and hopefully be able to get a few days of rest while family is up from Florida and will no doubt want to see the kids.  As it stands, I'm going 90 to nothing for the next week and a half, so if you see me around this blog after tomorrow (I'll post a doc update), rest assured it's 100% certain I'm avoiding doing something far more important.

If I decide to be responsible, Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Pray for me, please!

Well, I didn't post yesterday mainly because I had another attack night before last and wound up in the ER for 5 hours.  I walked away afterwards with not a lot of information, less sleep only to have to go to my family doc almost as soon as I woke up.  I was going on about 3 hours of sleep the whole night.

My family doc is concerned I have a hiatal hernia or an ulcer.  My gallbladder doesn't cause the symptoms I'm having, so joy of joy's I get to go to the gastroenterologist and start a battery of tests on Tuesday.  I'm probably going to have to do a barium swallow first and if that doesn't show anything, an endoscopy is probably next.  Of course, I prefer the pill cam but I doubt I'll get off that easy, cause you know how Murphy loves me!

So...I don't get my morning cup of tea anymore - it was time to stop relying on that every morning anyway.  I'm back on the Nexium and feel a lot better this morning except for the caffeine withdrawal headache from the tea.  Wouldn't it figure I try to do something good for myself by getting off the Nexium and not relying so much on medications, only to cause myself an ulcer or worse.  UGH.  Anyway, I digress.

So I say all of this to say please pray for me.  My mom won't be coming to help me, I've made arrangements so I don't have to "bother" her during all of this.  Whatever is in the near future for me I just pray, and ask that you do as well, that it will be diagnosed with the least amount of invasiveness as possible.  I'm fairly confident it's nothing overly serious, but I'm more worried about all those stupid tests I'll have to do.

And at some point I suppose I need to shower today.  I think it's been since Wednesday morning.  G.R.O.S.S.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mother gripe

Ok, so remember how I mentioned I think I'm having gallbladder problems?  I call my mom after church to see if she could come stay with me next week since Hubby will be on an overnight business trip and I've got my doc's appointment.  No doubt I will probably have to schedule a few additional appointments for tests and such next week as well.  All she had to do was pack her bags and I'd come pick her up.

Her response?  "Well..................I GUESS I could come for a day or two, but I really need to be sewing."  (She has a doll clothing line she sells on ebay for literally next to nothing and makes NO money at it at all - not to mention my step-dad has told me before that she doesn't do as much as she tells me she does.)  So it was a big fat excuse again.

I'm sorry.  I hate to keep complaining about things, but my mom is one sore subject.  I grew up in a NOT FUN household with her and after 28 years I just can't get past how my mom often acts like she HATES me.  I know she doesn't.  I know it was how she was raised and how she was never given the opportunity I've been given to get out of a dead beat town and explore LIFE.

I constantly have to rely on my in-laws for things.  My sister in law already graciously accepted watching the kids during my appointment Tuesday and she works from home making real money.  I waste her valuable time having to ask her to watch them while I go to stinkin' appointments all the time.  She's never complained and always seemed happy to do it for me.  Thank you, Melissa.  I was TRYING to save you from having to come over but it looks like my plan has gone up in smoke.

But why oh why can't my mother WANT to spend time with me and her grandchildren?  I got a bum dad AND a bum mom.  Boy, I sure did get lucky in the parental department, huh?  But you know, I still say that all of that led me here where I am today.

I'll always feel an empty space where my mother should be.  We've never been close and while I can admit that I don't all I could to make sure we are, it began long before I had the social skills to maintain a relationship.  And furthermore, it shouldn't be all on me.  She should get off her lazy behind sometime and make something happen for herself.  Stop making all those excuses because it requires effort.  I honestly can't imagine EVER not wanting to be with my kids.  If any of them lived only two hours away, no matter what my circumstance, I'd do everything I could to see them at least every few weeks.

Would you, or am I being obtuse?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mindless boredom

Seriously people.  I'm all sorts of bored here in my neck of the woods.  The strange part?  I've got a to-do list a mile long.  I left off scrap booking for my children somewhere around Punky's fourth day of life.  Almost three years and two more kids later, I've got a bin FULL of stuff that I need to put in them, not to mention all that cutesy expensive stuff like stickers and colorful paper.  Why don't I just do it, you ask?  Good question.  When I figure out the answer I'll let you know.

And weight watchers?  Yeah.  Bored with that, too, which scares the pants off me.  I'll get to 139.5 and lose my motivation again because I'm "in the one-thirties" again.  UGH.  I've been in the "one-thirties" again approximately 3 point four times and blow it.  I told myself earlier today I was just going to have to quit trying until the new year.  Then I made myself cookies.  And now I feel like butt.  Yes, butt.  I always feel this way after I eat junk and I don't know why it's so appealing to me.

And last night I had one of those weird, scary episodes i had when I was pregnant and my OB thought it was my gallbladder.  Up until last night I was certain this was just the heartburn. And since I'm off all medication for that it made sense that it was still just that.  But then it kept getting worse and worse until we had to call the in-laws to sit with the kids so I could go to the hospital.  About 10 minutes later, it subsided and was over so I didn't go.  It seems too high to be heartburn, which I'm good and familiar with, but after drinking some Maalox, that's when it went away.  Oh well, I've got a gastroenterologist appointment next Tuesday that will hopefully get to the bottom of it.  All I can say is that better not EVER happen again or I'll take whatever it is in there out myself.

And have you ever had one of those annoying jumping muscles in your body that just drives you CRAZY?  I've got one of those on the inside of my right knee right now and it's driving me positively batty.  

I think I need prozac.

What else is on my to-do list?  Let's see....
1.  Finish up the rest of the hair bows I need to get done before the craft show next Thursday.
2.  Clean house (this is not necessarily second on my list, it's a slippery little sucker that sometimes falls right to the bottom)
3.  Inject muscle relaxer directly into offending muscle in knee
4.  Take a shower (sadly, this one tends to battle with #2 for dead last on my to-do list).  I mean, am I seriously the only person on EARTH who only showers like MAYBE 3 times a week?  If I know you, don't EVER tell me you read this.  On second thought, even if I don't know you don't ever tell me you read this.
5.  Organize almost every aspect of my life - from house, to hair bows to kids.
6.  Figure out a way to make more money.  Now that you-know-who is going to be in office, financial security is no longer in our vocabulary.
7.  Finish writing book for NaNoWriMo.  WILL.FINISH.
8.  Get more sleep.
9.  Invent disposable clothing so I NEVER have to wash clothes again.  Seriously, if they can come up with disposable diapers and disposable bibs, we can do clothes, too.  It's the wave of the future, just you wait.
10.  Get out of my funk.  It can't last much longer or can it?

There are a million other REAL things I have to do (like Christmas shopping, etc), but none of those seemed blog worthy.

Well, it's time I wrap up and get started doing....


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Calling all critique partners!

I'm in need of a few critique partners for my latest WIP.  If anyone is interested in reading a romance, please let me know.  I'm looking for possibly 3 people to exchange work with.  I've been out of the writing loop for awhile, so I need some people to keep me motivated and my brain active (and to be understanding since I have three kids under 3 right now).

Let's get it on, people!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Oh Hubby Dear...I do love you.

I don't talk about Hubby very often. Usually not at all because quite frankly he asked me not to. But today, I find myself unable to keep that promise.

Hubby has an odd sense of humor. To be honest, that's part of why I love him so much. For the most part, we mesh quite well in that department. Well, except for movies. He's more of a Jim Carrey or a Adam Sandler kinda guy where I'm more of a realistic kind of humor. But I digress.

The one thing we can always agree on is bodily function humor. I know, all you loyal readers out there probably think I'm obsessed with that. I've said it before. And, maybe I really am, but I simply can't NOT laugh at a kid passing gas, or my husband coming up with new phrases.

He's never been much of a baby person. Cupcake is sleeping through the night now so things are better in our house, but Hubby simply doesn't like the baby stage. He says after 6 months he's ok, but he likes it when he can wrestle with them and rough house. So anytime Cupcake utters a peep he comes up with a new nickname.

The phrase for the day?

Butt Nugget. Butt.Nugget. Cupcake is Daddy's little Butt Nugget.

The second Hubby called her this I couldn't help it. I died laughing. I mean, father's are supposed to be all smitten with their little girls and call them stuff like Princess and Sweetheart or Cupcake. But my hubby with the odd sense of humor?

Butt Nugget.

Sorry, Cupcake. When you read this, I promise this is your father's way of saying I heart you. I see the telltale look in his eyes when you smile at him and despite his effort to the contrary is enjoying every minute of being with you.

I just hope he doesn't call you this on your wedding day...

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Near death experience

Meet Mr. Cat, our first casualty of the day.

I barely managed to rescue him from Chicken's evil clutches as he mercilessly gave him a swirly in the toilet just to see the water dripping from his fur onto the bathroom floor while laughing his evil baby laugh (how else did you think I knew he was up to no good?).  I also rescued a sock and what appeared to be dental floss.

Poor, poor Mr. Cat.  This doesn't bode well for any future pets we may have.

But don't worry, no drowning of real animals was done while blogging this post.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Losing it

Will somebody tell my brain that THIS is not Cupcake?  While doing the dishes I looked up and saw this and immediately thought, "Oh no, how long has she been up?  I FORGOT ABOUT HER, she's been so quiet!  Did I feed her, is it time for her to go to sleep?  Wait a's not moving...."

Apparently Punky was playing house and this is what I get for letting her have some of her old preemie/newborn clothes to put on her doll.  

Sad, huh?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

What to do?

For those of you stay at home moms...

Do you ever feel like life is passing you by?  I know I've said a million times I can't stand it when people take their kids for granted.  And I don't - there is something every day that makes me stop and say Thank You GOD for my babies.  But that doesn't mean I don't have times where I want my cake and eat it too.  A career for me was pretty much doomed from birth.  I've always wanted to be a mommy and I enjoy it.  I hated school and just survived until I got married and decided I couldn't justify the money anymore to just "get by."  A writing career is something I still dream about...mainly because I really can have my cake and eat it, too.  It's a job I can do from home and it's a passion of mine.

But somedays it seems like everyone else is just living their life, having fun and enjoying their hobbies when I'm stuck with a mountain of laundry, 12 dirty diapers, dishes, and bottle feedings.  It sounds like the ultimate cliche, doesn't it?  But I guess there's a reason for those overused phrases - they really are true!  I'm lucky if I have 1 or 2 nights a month to just sit and write...or read.  I even had to multi-task today between reading the newest Nicholas Spark's book (the first book I've read in over 6 months) and watching my soaps.  Every spare minute I have is so precious these days.

I mean, I totally understand that I'm selfish in saying all this, but this is my blog so I get to be selfish on it occasionally.  With all the cancer around me, being another year older, and knowing our family is done growing, I don't know how to face the fact that I don't really have any more "milestones" in my life.  Someone told me once when I said this, "Well, you get to become a grandma."  Ok, yeah.  I do.  But that's my children's milestones, not mine, nor is it guaranteed that my children will ever have children.  Surely out of three kids, at least one of them will have some, so the odds are in my favor but still.  So, exactly what is my next milestone?  I have approximately 20 years stretched out before me and it doesn't look all that great.  Keep in mind, I'm not talking about parenting or my children in this rant, but rather ME and MY life.  I quit college because I didn't like it and I don't really regret it...I more regret the fact that I couldn't make myself enjoy it.  I don't have time for writing.  I don't have many hobbies other than writing.  My "hairbow" business is pretty much up in smoke before it even began (not a single sell out of 57 items on the site yet!).  Where will I be when my children are grown?  What will I do when they're not here any more to fill the void?

If someone knows the answer to that question or can suggest a good self-help book on an early-life crisis, please leave a comment.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Happy birthday to me?

So, uh, yeah.  Having a birthday on Halloween when you're a kid is cool.  You get to have the cool dress-up parties, get to eat cake AND candy, but...

...when you get, say, around twenty eight Halloween birthday's just aren't so cool anymore.  Last year I had a halloween play date for my kids and my friends very kindly brought gifts and such.  This year I requested none of that...quite simply because the play date wasn't about me but rather our kids and their enjoyment.  My gift is watching my children in their little costumes having their friends over and having fun.  My butt doesn't need the cake anymore.  My gut doesn't hear my brain's cadence of "just say no" when it comes to candy.  Weight watchers doesn't wait for birthday's.

We spent Halloween day (my birthday) in my hometown with my mom - which was a surprise for her.  It was a very odd day, but good to let the kids spend time with my parents.  It's a two hour drive and all but 45 minutes of it was spent listening Cupcake screaming her head off.  We've discovered the car isn't her favorite place to be.  When we got there, she slept 45 minutes here and there and was so overtired I think her vocal chords decided to go to sleep on the way home.  Thankfully she slept the whole way.  Punky and Chicken slept a whopping 45 minutes all day but were pretty good considering.  We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant where I got serenaded in espanol by some hispanic dudes.  I even got to wear a sombrero for all the on-lookers to laugh at me.  Punky and Chicken didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Hubby presented me with my brand new iTrip for my ipod in the car.  Numero dos on my birthday list.  Oh yeah, and my parents found out their dog died while they took my kids out to see him.  Oops.  He's not asleep in his doghouse kids, he bit the dust.  At least he hadn't started to stink yet.

The day was a pretty stressful one, spending 4 hours in the car for a 5 hour visit.  But my mom was thrilled to spend the day with them and see them in their costumes.  Because of the local high school football games, all the trick or treating was done on Thursday, the night before we were there, so the kids didn't get to do any.  We still somehow managed to get a whole pumpkin PLUS a variety candy bag in our house (seriously, how did that happen?!).  I wonder if the cows out behind my house eat candy?  Since they have four stomach's and all, I figure they could use it more than I can.

How was your Halloween?  

Thursday, October 30, 2008

A day in pictures

Punky getting the cupcakes ready for the costume playdate.  Don't ask.
It's Batman!  (aka Chicken)

Princess Punky
"The Boyfriend" as Cookie Monster with his cookie.

The whole Halloween play date.  They had so much fun!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

What else can I say?

Punky has a pop-up Dora tent that she puts in our living room sometimes.  Today she was playing in it with her stuffed monkey.  I watch as she disappears into the tent and hear the muffled sounds of her (what I know now) hitting it...

"I'm spanking the monkey, Mommy!"

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Chicken's first camping trip with Daddy!

Chicken in his car seat ready to go!

Chicken all cuddled up in his very own camo sleeping bag in the back of the van.  They didn't rough it as much as they would have liked to in a tent.  It was pretty cold that night for an almost 2 year old!
The next morning:  Chicken playing with The Boyfriend (Punky's "boyfriend", not Chicken's.)  Such boys!

Daddy and Chicken.  The two men in my life.
Perhaps a little too much manliness for him over the weekend?

Monday, October 27, 2008

Can I PLEASE start over?!?

Isn't it funny how Monday's and Murphy always find me? It's not even 9 am and my morning has been...well, a Monday.

I woke up this morning to Punky next to my bed grinning. "I had a good nap, Mommy!" So far so good.

Then I hear the telltale whine of Chicken awake. Yesterday, he discovered how to climb out of his crib and now has a big strawberry from carpet burn on his forehead. I rushed into his room to make sure he didn't have any broken limbs. Nope, just a bad poopy diaper that left a horrible rash on his bottom. Now he's cranky as all get out. I can still handle this.

Oh but wait. I come in the computer room to drink my tea and read my morning blogs and while reading an email I received confirming more children to my playdate on thursday, I put my tea down and push in the keyboard cubby to get a pin from the drawer. Yeah, the tea was ON the keyboard cubby that disappears into the desk. Now the tea is all over me, the protective mat I have down on the carpet AND on the carpet. I had already had half of it! Now the day is turning questionable not to mention I'm just stupid!

Then I hear something that sounds like a kid choking after I've cleaned myself and the computer room up. Running into the living room, I'm just in time to see Cupcake projectile puke all over her bouncy seat and...oh yeah, my carpet. I cleaned her up and put her in the high chair to chill. She didn't burp well and I thought maybe she choked trying to get air up. Nope. I go back to check on her two minutes later and she's puked again. Then again when I put her on the changing table to clean her up. I'm drowning in laundry from said puking now. Now I'm officially having a bad day.

Ugh. If anything else goes wrong today, I'm crawling in a hole and forgetting I exist.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Pumpkin Cake Recipe and Camping

Well, it's raining cats and dogs outside right now and as of 5pm tonight Hubby and Chicken will be camping with The Boyfriend and his dad. Supposedly the rain is supposed to let up by this afternoon but it's still going to be soggy for them. Chicken doesn't really know what "camping" is but he's excited anyway. He's really been a daddy's boy lately, so he's going to love the one on one. I'm hoping it's a phase. I'm also hoping it's not that he's still a little angry that Cupcake gets a lot of my attention. But I've gotten the impression more than once that he's angry with me.

Punky is getting into the terrible three's. I can tell pretend play is becoming very real to her and she's started getting angry when Chicken messes with her "sleeping" baby dolls. This morning they were both squealing at each other and I walk in to see what's going on and she has Chicken in a headlock screaming, "No, Chicken, don't touch my BABYYYYYYYYY!" If hadn't intervened, she would've taken him down. But trust me when I say the terrible three's won't last long. She's a smart kid and she'll understand Mommy means business when she says not to act a certain way.

And for fall tradition I wanted to post an insanely easy pumpkin cake recipe that my in-laws taught me:

1 box of spice cake mix
1 can of pumpkin
1 cup of milk chocolate chips (optional)
1 container of cool whip

Mix the spice cake mix and pumpkin together (and chocolate chips if you choose) and spread into a greased 9X13 pan. Batter will be thick and hard to spread but put as evenly in the pan as you can. Bake according to package or until toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Once cake is cooled, spread with cool whip. It's REALLY good and it's weight watcher friendly - if you leave out the chocolate chips! If you try it, I hope you enjoy!

Happy fall everyone!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Need a hair bow?

I think we're all better...for now. Apparently it's going around. Another little girl in Punky's bible class got sick last night so as usual, we're spreading the love. Thankfully, Punky and Chicken were only sick yesterday morning and they acted relatively normal the rest of the day. I felt REALLY bad last night but had some left over nausea medicine from pregnancy that I took and went to bed. I woke up feeling ok this morning. Of course, I had a migraine yesterday, too, so that could explain the nasty stomach.

In other news, I finally got my ebay store set up. You can access it here. I'm going to be adding a ton of new stuff soon, so hopefully I'll start getting some traffic really soon. I'm anxious to get started. Hubby even ordered me a polo shirt with my logo on it for craft shows. How cool is that? Thanks Hubby!

That's really it for today. Got lots of stuff going on and I'm avoiding doing it just by blogging and wasting time online. Hopefully when the kids go down for their nap I can finish up a few of the items on my to do list!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Not Cupcake but Punky!

So apparently my record for sleeping at night lately is limited to 4 night stretches. Murphy is back and residing at my house during germ season. I love it when that happens. After two hospitalizations in the last 18 months with my two eldest, I figure we're gearing up for another rough winter.

Cupcake slept through the night again...she's now broken her own record I'm happy to say. But....

Punky came into our room at 5:30 this morning acting funny. She said she had to pee pee but I knew she was acting weird and was pretty pale. She started shaking and acting like she was about to throw up. I let her stand there for a minute but she never did anything. Then she told me her stomach hurt and she had to potty. Thinking maybe she had to poop, I put her up there but she still didn't do anything. She's been known to stall so I finally went to grab her off the potty and she pushed me away and acted like she was scared and said she had to pee pee. I gave her a minute more then she got down. I sent her back to bed. It wasn't more than 30 minutes later I heard the telltale wail from her room and knew she was puking. This happened three times and when she was done with her off and on puking it was 7:25 and time to start our day.

I sat down and wrote the first sentence of this post and heard Chicken wailing. Yup, he was throwing up, too.

They both had breakfast and are acting relatively normal. I keep waiting for them both to start going at it again, but so far so good. I'm not keeping my hopes up though. Hubby is already gone for the day and since Murphy knows me so well, he MUST know of my phobia of puke and will do whatever it takes to make sure I have to face it on my own. But see, his plan is backfiring...the more I'm exposed to it the more I'm able to handle it. I actually held back Punky's hair this morning (when I'm normally cowering in the corner of another room until it's over).

Take that Murphy, you jerk....

Now on to my morning cup of tea. I'm already three point five hours into my day and I'm exhausted.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Hotdog, I think she's got it!

Cupcake started rolling over about 3 weeks ago stomach to back. She would ball up her legs underneath her and kick so she would flip over on her back. It's the funniest thing! But of course, that opened up a whole new can of worms in the sleep department. I've gone against the rules and put all of my reflux babies on their stomach's early. They've all learned to roll over stomach to back fairly quickly. But the problem is, it's usually MONTHS before they learned to roll back to stomach so in the mean time they're like turtle's on their backs and their eyes pop wide open and they will not go back to sleep. None of my kids got used to sleeping on their back until they were old enough to roll onto their tummy if they weren't comfy.

I stopped swaddling Cupcake about a week and a half ago and moved her to her bedroom four nights ago. I started putting her on her stomach to sleep at night instead of swaddled on her back, resigned to the fact she probably still wouldn't sleep through the night since she can still flip over. Surprisingly, the night she turned 3 months old, October 17th, she's slept through the night and hasn't offered to flip over in her sleep...YET. I know it's probably coming, though.

Cupcake is a certified thumb sucker. I've always wanted a thumb sucker as it insanely adorable and it keeps them little longer. I know I'll regret this when she's say 12 and still doing it, but right now it's nice. She refuses pacifiers now and only needs her thumb to go to sleep. I don't even have to rock her although I admit I do just to have some one on one time with her. Life is too short to stress about her getting used to falling asleep on me every day. I know she won't. After three kids, holding her a few times a week until she falls asleep will not a habit make. All of my kids have healthy sleep habits.

So for four nights now, she's slept through the night, 7 am to 7 pm. Four nights is her record, we'll see tonight if she's got it for sure. Unfortunately for me, I'm suffering from some kind of allergy crud (we all are except Hubby, the lucky dog), and I haven't got to really feel rested yet. It'll be nice when I'm feeling better and can wake up all refreshed. Right now I still feel like I've been hit by a truck. Cupcake even has it, too, as I suctioned bloody snot from her nose this morning. Looks like she's going to have the family allergies, too. And of course, a stopped up nose in an infant has the potential to break our new pattern of sleep, so I'm really hoping it doesn't get any worse than it is right now!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

A tough weekend

We go to a church of over 300 people. Not long ago we lost a dear sister in Christ who had touched many lives. Since then, we've found out so many more have cancer - one who is fighting a battle (and winning so far) of advanced lung cancer. This past week, we found out one of our elders has a brain tumor. He's only in his 50's, too. This man is one of the smartest men I know. He's so nice and educated about God and has taught many people. Why his brain? Why should he have to go through that when this man IS his brain? We will probably never know God's reason and probably aren't supposed to know but I can tell you that each day we're given is a blessing. Every smile from our children, every hug, every I love you. My biggest fear is dying before my children are grown and never seeing them become Christian adults. I get angry with mother's who take their children for granted. Who stand in our church building and complain because they're selfish and didn't get to do the things they planned on doing. Everyone has bad days, I get that. At some point, we all wish we had more time for ourselves.

But I can say with 210% certainty that not one day has gone by with each of my kids that I haven't thanked God for my children. Not one day hasn't gone by that I haven't thanked him for all the many blessings I have in my life, regardless of the kind of day I've had. I'll admit sometimes I don't necessarily feel blessed on a morning like I had in my previous post, but that doesn't mean I'm not. I'm human and therefore have selfish days where I would love a few hours to myself to write, to do my nails, to soak in a hot bath, but that doesn't mean I would change my life in any way, shape or form.

When faced with our very certain mortality, I stop and appreciate everything I've been given. Seeing these loving, special families go through these difficult times is hard for me, so I can't even fathom what it's like for them. It could easily be my family or someone we're close to. We could be next. We just never know. Why waste a day letting other very human things bother us when, in the grand scheme of things, we have only one goal and that's to get to heaven? Does it really matter that the dishes aren't done or the laundry isn't folded and put away? Does it really matter you haven't dusted or vacuumed?

So all of you reading this: Go hug your loved ones. Look them in the eye and tell them how much they mean to you. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow or even an hour from now. Write them a letter, just do something. We often take the people closest to us for granted.

This man who has only 6-15 months to live lovingly places coffee and toast on the kitchen table for his wife every morning. He teaches people the word of God. He fulfilled his christianly duties by serving God as an elder of our congregation. He's leaving behind three children and several grandchildren. He's lived an amazing life from what I've heard. And he will fight with everything in him until his body can fight no more.

Are we fighting to make sure each day counts? Are we doing all that we can do so that tomorrow, if we're diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor we have no regrets? Have we lived our life in accordance with God's will so we can look forward to the day we're with Him in heaven?

I hope we all meet each other there.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Can I start the day over?

5:49 am: Cupcake wakes up for her normal fussy spell for 30 minutes.

5:51 am: Hubby removes himself from our bedroom to take up residence with his new best friend - Couch.

6:20 am: Cupcake finally settles back down and finds her thumb.

6:35 am: I finally fall back to sleep. Need.Sleep.

6:45 am: Punky comes in bedroom butt naked. Note to self: Don't let her wear zip up footy pajamas anymore.

6:46 am: Redress Punky, put her back to bed and threaten her within an inch of her life if she gets out of bed again. No one in our house is allowed to be up before 7 am. It's grounds for adoption.

6:50 am: Sleeping soundly.

7:10 am: Hubby comes in after his lovely night of sleep and gets in the shower. Complete with hacking, clearing of the throat and dropping of the soap - which by the way has the potential to give you a heart attack when you're half asleep.

7:15 am: Pass out from exhaustion regardless of noises coming from elsewhere.

7:50 am: Cupcake wakes up again ready to start her morning. Hubby exits the shower - seriously, what can a bald man have to do in the shower for FORTY MINUTES? We've been married 7 years and I still haven't figure it out yet.

7:55 am: See Punky's light on in her room. Can' Find her in her room making "bows" with my craft wire and ribbon I left on the kitchen table last night. Wire is everywhere. Guess she'll be carrying on the family "business."

8:30 am: Down a large cup of tea for a jolt of caffeine I'm seriously going to need before the end of the day.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Puppy Dog Tales

Hubby helped me get started setting up my ebay store. I'm excited to get my little "business" off the ground. We did well at the craft show with our hair bows and now I'm extending to dog bows. It's unreal the people we saw. Can you believe we had 4 people ask us for dog bows? D.O.G. bows. Now, I understand the empty-nesters might cling to a dog to fill the void, but these were families with children to take care of. How do they find time to dress themselves, their children AND their dog? I reckon they're just stupid, eh, super talented like that. And why not capitalize on their stupidity, er, interests?

Now, I love animals. I really do. I used to be the proud owner of two of the sweetest little cats you've ever seen. But I had Punky and the cats got shipped off to a good home. I simply couldn't take care of it all, not to mention I couldn't stand all the cat hair wedged between her chubby little fingers. Super woman I am not. But I mean these crazy, um, eccentric people had STROLLERS for their dogs...yeah! I'm not kidding. A stroller with a zip up visor to "protect" them from the sun. Good grief. Oh, and not only that, a man walked by with a medium sized dog strapped in a dog snugli. D.O.G. S.N.U.G.L.I. What happened to letting the dogs walk? Is American going to be the leading country for obese dogs now, too?

I'm sorry, but I'm just overwhelmed by some people. I do think the little dogs that are furry are cute with one little bow in their hair. If I was ever dumb enough to get another animal and it was one of those, I'd probably stick a bow in it's hair some time. But a stroller? A snugli? Sorry, now I know why the economy is going to pot and that's because people are wasting their money on that kind of junk and can't pay for their house. C'mon people. Feed your dogs. Walk 'em. Love 'em. Stick a bow in their hair and I'll even give you a sweater in the winter but leave it at that. A dog is a dog is a dog. IS.A.STINKIN. DOG.

So, if you need infant, toddler or dog bows, I'm your gal. 'Cause after all, they're one in the same, right?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Never EVER tell a toddler...

...that you're taking her to see the Nutcracker (aka Ballerinas) during Christmas BEFORE Halloween.

That's all that needs saying about that.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Because I have nothing witty to say...

I'm going to post just a general update of our very mundane life...

Ok, so in 8 weeks, I've lost approximately 5.5 lbs. Not great, but at least my butt hasn't found that many extra pounds, either. I did really good this last week and it paid off, 1.5 pounds of that total this past week alone. I'm finally able to see a difference in my pants and I'm back into my size 8's that I wore right after Punky was born. As a whole, I'm satisfied. I'm not able to exercise and I'm losing based on nothing but my eating habits. Not too shabby. Once I'm back in the 130's I'll be even happier. That means the 120's are getting closer!

Of course, if I had been die hard about my eating over the last 8 weeks, it would have been a lot more. I haven't really counted my points to a T. On weekends I cheat...a lot. Like when we go out to eat and Hubby suggests a cookie. Do ya think I'm going to turn it down? You enabler, you. Don't get me wrong, he's been great about reminding me of my points, but he had a weak moment last night after I had cheated already once that day and got me that stinkin' cookie at McAlister's. Enabler. Yes, you, dear Hubby.

The kiddos are still on a mission to make sure my patience run thin every day. Cupcake has been screaming through her feedings. i thought I had it figured out (aka, she just wasn't hungry!) and moved her to a four hour schedule. Well, she's doing much better, but she's still having a feeding or two a day that she doesn't want to eat more than a few ounces. She's the total antithesis of my first two. Already rolling over, too, which makes naptime (as she sleeps on her stomach) interesting. She flips over and can't get back to her stomach yet so she's good an awake by the time I run interference.

Punky has got potty training whipped. She even goes to pee herself half the time without me knowing. She'll come to where ever I am with her pants and underwear in tow, "Mommy, I already went pee pee!" Ain't nothing cuter than her bare little bubble butt. Just makes me want to pinch it.

Speaking of pinching, some days I want to pinch Chicken's head off, but he's been doing pretty good lately. I can't complain, but I do think most of the credit goes to Hubby. He's taken the wheel with him and gotten him in line. Today was the first day in awhile that I've had to discipline him and even then it was because he was doing something Punky initiated. Be a leader, not a follower, Son!

Well, it's about time for my soaps (wouldn't be a SAHM if I didn't watch them!) so I must go!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The truth about lies...

So it's no secret that Punky had trouble potty training. It's also no secret that she lied many times to us about whether or not she had to go or if she had already gone. Often times, we would explain to her that what she said to us was a lie and make sure she knew she wasn't supposed to tell them. I questioned how much she understood, but since we never KNOW, I forged ahead and didn't use the old excuse, "she's just too young to understand."

Fast forward to today. After lunch we have a daily Bible study and sing songs. They love playing "bible class" with me and it's their own special time with me where I won't let anything interrupt us. It's made me feel better about spending more time with them and in the process they learn about God. What better way to utilize our time together?

We've been studying about Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Esau. Today's lesson focused on how Jacob lied to Isaac when he was old and pretended to be Esau so he could get nice things. At the end of the lesson, it has follow-up questions about what I just read to them. Punky's a pretty smart little cookie and can tell you the correct answers to almost all of them. The question today was: Why did Jacob lie to his father? Punky looked at me and thought a minute.

"Because he poo pooed."

Monday, October 6, 2008

Lots of things to think about...

I had a very busy week preparing for a craft show to sell my hairbows in and keeping up with my kids.

As for the farting's actually nothing very unique. I just thought it made for a good game. Spinster made the comment that after she ate at Olive Garden, she farted breadsticks (smellwise) for a week. I found that hilarious and told her that was going to be the subject of my next blog. She reads this and we all thought at the time it was hilarious. With a little time since then, I can see the reveal is probably a let down, if not gross to most of you. I promise I don't have an obsession with passing gas, it just happens to be something that happens quite frequently in my house (Hubby!) and the subject of many good laughs. What else is funnier than your butt cheeks flapping together to make a sound!?!?! ;oD

Something interesting happened to me yesterday. I have an account with and I had a friend request from someone that I guess you could say was an enemy in high school. Not really enemy, I had no beef with her other than she was a bully to me and I was too chicken and insecure to stand up to her. She was an ex's girlfriend who took a liking to making my life miserable. If only she could have been in my shoes for a week...she would have never said or done the things she did. I understand that insecure people are the ones who bully most of the time, and I did feel sorry for her. People told me she had a bad home life and such. My ex boyfriend was probably the only thing she had to hold on to.

The funny thing was, I think she thought I still wanted to date the ex. We were "together" from 8th grade until 10th. It was a very innocent relationship. I was miserable with him and didn't know how to break it off as it was my first real relationship. He cried every time I tried to end it, manipulated me until I gave in. I even had physical problems from the stress of the relationship. The moment I finally put my foot down, my life was instantly better and I never looked back.

During my 11th and 12th grade years, the years this person made things unbearable, I was depressed, got a mild form of what I would call anorexia (but that's really exaggerating - I was just so stressed out with my life I never thought to eat and if I did, I didn't have an appetite), but I did get down to 90 pounds at my lowest point, and I thought a lot about what things would be like if i hadn't been born. I had a new boyfriend that at the time helped me through it. Turns out that relationship was quite toxic, too, but in a totally different way. This was all compounded by the monstrous problems I had with my mother and her verbal abuse and an absent father. Those years were the worst of my life but yet looking back, they were some of the best times, too. I'm still not sure how that works but maybe it was the newness of life, of beginning adulthood, new relationships, discovering life. I made drum major of my high school band those years, too, and it was an accomplishment that I was so proud of. I had never really accomplished much and that was something I had my sights set on since I joined the high school band in 8th grade. I got a scholarship to Jacksonville State University my senior year for the band playing the flute, and I was the only one from my class. I never used it in the end, but I know that was the path I was supposed to take now.

I guess my question is, how do you get over it? I try not to hold grudges and I know this person is probably completely different. I just obsess over what I could have done differently, things I could have said to make her understand how she hurt me. People like her are one of the major reasons I personally decided to homeschool my kids when they're old enough. I know you can't shelter kids from bullies, they're everywhere, but I can certainly keep from ruining their whole high school experience just because they're focused on a bully instead of learning. If I hadn't been bullied I wonder where things might have gone. Who I could have been. What I could have done. The confidence I would have now. I might not have cried so much. I might have cared a little more in college and actually finished. I might have done something great.

Don't get me wrong, I had friends. I enjoyed what I could. I cherish the friends I had in high school that made me laugh when I felt so low. Stuck by me even though I was a total downer and pessimist. Yes, I was the "outcast" of that "group" I was, but they never really made me feel that way. I just knew I was. That's kind of carried over into my adult life, too. I don't really fit in anywhere, despite my effort to the contrary. I guess in a way you could say the bully won. I hate to even admit that, and she wasn't the only reason I say that, either. My mother had a lot to do with who I am now, too. She was a big contributor to the low self worth and pessimism.

I guess you could say I have done something great, though. I'm a mother, the only thing I really wanted to be when I was little. I have a great husband, one who deserves much better than me. We have a great marriage, although it's not without it's faults. We have a great life together. I have friends. Not many CLOSE friends, but friends who tolerate me even though I am who I am. I'm not like them, but I've accepted that. But most of all, I'm not the person I used to be in high school. Yes, I'm still needy emotionally, yes I'm still more insecure than any adult should be, but I'm a totally different person. I have a faith in God that I didn't have ten years ago. I have a positive reinforcement, called Hubby who grounds me most of the time, although I'd never admit it to him. I'm not around my mother much anymore although I still crave a relationship I know I will never have. I haven't talked to my father in 3 years and haven't seen him in over 7. I've eliminated most of the toxicity from my life. But that still doesn't heal the scars or wipe the stains away.

Did I accept her friend request? I did, on principle alone. BECAUSE I'm not the same person. I can forgive her for the things she said. We were young and immature. She made the first move and that proves she's different. I haven't thought about her in years. She has a little girl now and is apparently pregnant again. Just hearing from her brought up all these feelings I never want to think about again. I wonder, too, if she's afraid for her children to go through what she put me through? Or is she training them to be a mini-me and carry on the tradition? Has she had someone in her life like I have with my husband who changes her life and makes it better so she doesn't think about those things anymore? Has she found a peace within herself about what she did to me and probably others? For her children's sake, I hope she has. Not many people can rise above their raising. It takes a strong character and lots of humbleness and encouragement from others to want to change, much less make it happen.

As the years have gone by, ten in fact, I realize I'll never get those precious years back that molded and shaped me into who I am today. They were spent wishing them away, for better days. For a better life. Well, I'm there. Welcome to the present with my three beautiful children, my wonderful husband and a life I never dreamed possible ten years ago. I won't waste these days away wishing for something else. I won't let anyone in who doesn't belong. Not anymore. My kids deserve better than what I had and I'll give it to them no matter what it costs.

Were you bullied? If you were, how did you get over it?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Weekend Getaway: Farting Breadsticks and Boobies!

Ok, so let me preface my blog by saying I had an amazing weekend with my friends in Panama City Beach, FL.  I had forgotten how much we laugh when we get together, forgotten how bad it hurts AFTER you've laughed that much, and forgotten that the ole bladder just ain't what it used to be after three children.  I remember now and still wouldn't change anything.  The weekend was perfect.

We drove down early on Saturday morning and listened to music, sang, talked and laughed.  We took sort of a back route and would have made it just fine in great time if we hadn't been talking and laughing so much we didn't pay attention and missed an exit.  And went 30 miles out of the way one way.  Yes, my dear readers, we wound up adding a whole hour to our trip because we were gabbing.  In between this time and the next thing to go wrong, I learn that my best friend's little girl thinks "boobies" is a curse word and will inadvertently yell it when something goes wrong.  Hilarious.  Google maps was wrong on the very last turn we were "supposed" to make, but instead we should've gone straight.  That added another 30 minutes or so.  UGH.  I've never had a good experience with any online map thingy.  They all stink.  So we're ready to get out of the car, start our vacation and enjoy some down time.  We were frustrated and I yell, BOOBIES!!! at a redlight.  My friend (who is a spin instructor at her local gym, I will henceforth refer to her as Spinster)and I died laughing and that's when I first remembered I was behind on my kegel exercises.  It wasn't the last time, either.

We finally arrive and meet up with a friend of mine that moved there (one of the reasons I chose to go to that particular beach, because she would be there, too.)  We shopped at the outlets in Destin, FL.  I had birthday money and some money hubby let me have to splurge.  In the first 3 hours I had powered through $120.00 and only had $40 left for the whole vacation.  Depressing, huh?  This is me at dinner looking sad and depressed at my spending habits:
This is the three of us at the Back Porch at dinner that night, an open air restaurant on the beach.  The picture was taken by a drunk woman whose "procession was porfessional photogracy".  I'm just impressed that we're all in the picture.

The next day we lounged in the pool, sunbathed, and took a walk on the beach.  While Spinster was sunbathing on the beach (not my thing with my fair skin), I look down from my balcony and see literal boobies.  A woman was topless next to the pool, boobies up.  Anyone watching probably thought I liked what I saw, but I simply couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I guess she was from Europe or something.  But then I see her top tied to the arm of her chair and I know I don't need new contacts.  GeeeYROSSS! I guess you could just say she was our mascot for the trip.

Then, when I talk to Hubby, he tells me Punky is sick with a stomach virus and throwing up.  It almost took an act of Congress to get me off that beach knowing I was going home to sick kids.  I obsessed the whole way home about it because I.hate.throw.up.  I'm phobic about it.  Luckily, Punky was feeling much better when I got home and was already in bed.  This morning, however, Chicken woke up with a fever.  This is what I found at lunch when I came to check my email and then returned to check on him...poor kid.

Oh, and farting breadsticks you ask?  Well, I'll just leave that one to your imagination.  What do you think it means?  Leave me a comment and we'll see whose closest.  Person's involved, you know who you are, can't give it up.