The new me has emerged. For 3 years now, I've been sitting at home all day and my only company was a 3, 2 and 8 month old. They're great company, don't get me wrong. But I need social interaction with people my age at some point. I don't even have to talk, just BEING around other people makes me feel better.
So about 3 weeks ago I joined my local gym. And I LOVE it. I even conned a friend of mine into joining with me (shhhh, she doesn't know I conned her yet). I haven't lost much weight, but I'm getting there. Only about 2 pounds so far. I'm even starting to crave the physical activity. Yeah, I know. The devil is snow skiing right now.
But seriously, I love it. I'm also writing more. I'm taking time for myself...and as an added bonus, it's after the kids go to bed, so I don't have to feel bad for leaving everyday. They still get mommy time, I still get ME time. It's a win-win situation. I've noticed a huge improvement in my mood, too, not just toward life, but toward my kids and my patience level. With the kids being sick so much this year, I was starting to feel depressed and was spending too much time dwelling on things that in the long run don't really matter. Now? It's pretty much gone. I think this has been my ticket out of my 6 month long funk.
It's easy as mother's to forget we're still human. When you have to balance children, husbands, house cleaning, cooking, laundry and yourself it's a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes instead of God we can start worshipping those things and lose ourselves and our goals in life. We can take on so much more than we can handle like making sure dinner's on the table at a certain time, our husband's clothes are ironed (I still don't get this one since they're just as capable as we are, but I have friends who do it!), entertaining people in our home and all the while dealing with all our regular chores and sick kids. Being a mommy and a wife doesn't mean we lose ourselves in the process. Yes, we come last and that's ok...as long as we're actually on our to-do list.
When I think about how I was feeling and how I know some of my friends feel, I realize even more now, how important it is to get out, get some fresh air and just BE. For the first time in a long while, I feel like ME again. That doesn't mean my life is perfect or I have it all together, but I have a clearer handle on where I NEED to be and I'm working to get there. And the best part? I don't feel one bit guilty.
Hello, my name is Stephanie. Remember me? I finally do.