Happy birthday, Cupcake. You're ONE!

Cupcake,

I've thought long and hard about this letter, mainly because it's the last "first" letter I'll probably ever right. I want it to be perfect and special in all the ways you are.

I can't begin to tell you what a blessing you've been in my life. From the second they put you on my tummy straight from the womb and I thought, "Oh my, what a tiny mouth she has!" to now, exactly one year later, I've been filled with love and happiness. I'm sure by the time you're reading this, you know you weren't exactly planned, but I couldn't imagine our family being complete without you.

You slept through the night on your three month birthday and have ever since. You've learned to smile and say dada, mama, baba, bite bite, hi, bye bye, whoa, baby, no no, uh oh, and probably a few more I haven't picked up on yet. You went to your first Bible class when you were six months old. You learned to sit up around then, too. By 9 months, you crawled and by 10 you were pulling up and cruising. You still haven't walked, but I know it's coming very soon!

Your smile has brought me endless joy. You've been such an easy baby and it's hard to capture with words the joy you seem to find in life. Your little adult chuckle always makes me laugh. And I love how you call for me over the monitor when you're awake. Your little crooked two-tooth smile never fails to brighten my day.

The best part of all has been going to your room and picking you up, all warm and soft from sleep and hearing you say "Ooooh" as you give me a kiss and then lay your head on my shoulder, patting me with your little chubby hand. One day, when your too big for me to pick up, I want those memories to be with me. These baby days are so short and there was once a day not long ago I wished them away. If only they would sleep through the night...If only they were potty trained...if only...

If only I could keep you little just a little longer.

God gave me my "angel baby" so that I would always look back on these days with joy. I know the day will come you will walk, talk in sentences, eat with a spoon, potty train, dress yourself, and develop your own opinion. I will savor those days, too, just as I have with your brother and sister. There's something bittersweet about saying goodbye to your last baby, but I'm also saying hello to my last toddler, which is still just as special.

Someday, I pray, I will watch you become a Christian. I will watch you make wise choices and make not only me, but yourself and God proud. I will watch you grow with the joy only a mother can have towards her child.

Cupcake, happy birthday. I love you so much.

Tomorrow, as we celebrate, I hope you know you will always be my...