Sunday, October 19, 2008

A tough weekend

We go to a church of over 300 people. Not long ago we lost a dear sister in Christ who had touched many lives. Since then, we've found out so many more have cancer - one who is fighting a battle (and winning so far) of advanced lung cancer. This past week, we found out one of our elders has a brain tumor. He's only in his 50's, too. This man is one of the smartest men I know. He's so nice and educated about God and has taught many people. Why his brain? Why should he have to go through that when this man IS his brain? We will probably never know God's reason and probably aren't supposed to know but I can tell you that each day we're given is a blessing. Every smile from our children, every hug, every I love you. My biggest fear is dying before my children are grown and never seeing them become Christian adults. I get angry with mother's who take their children for granted. Who stand in our church building and complain because they're selfish and didn't get to do the things they planned on doing. Everyone has bad days, I get that. At some point, we all wish we had more time for ourselves.

But I can say with 210% certainty that not one day has gone by with each of my kids that I haven't thanked God for my children. Not one day hasn't gone by that I haven't thanked him for all the many blessings I have in my life, regardless of the kind of day I've had. I'll admit sometimes I don't necessarily feel blessed on a morning like I had in my previous post, but that doesn't mean I'm not. I'm human and therefore have selfish days where I would love a few hours to myself to write, to do my nails, to soak in a hot bath, but that doesn't mean I would change my life in any way, shape or form.

When faced with our very certain mortality, I stop and appreciate everything I've been given. Seeing these loving, special families go through these difficult times is hard for me, so I can't even fathom what it's like for them. It could easily be my family or someone we're close to. We could be next. We just never know. Why waste a day letting other very human things bother us when, in the grand scheme of things, we have only one goal and that's to get to heaven? Does it really matter that the dishes aren't done or the laundry isn't folded and put away? Does it really matter you haven't dusted or vacuumed?

So all of you reading this: Go hug your loved ones. Look them in the eye and tell them how much they mean to you. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow or even an hour from now. Write them a letter, just do something. We often take the people closest to us for granted.

This man who has only 6-15 months to live lovingly places coffee and toast on the kitchen table for his wife every morning. He teaches people the word of God. He fulfilled his christianly duties by serving God as an elder of our congregation. He's leaving behind three children and several grandchildren. He's lived an amazing life from what I've heard. And he will fight with everything in him until his body can fight no more.

Are we fighting to make sure each day counts? Are we doing all that we can do so that tomorrow, if we're diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor we have no regrets? Have we lived our life in accordance with God's will so we can look forward to the day we're with Him in heaven?

I hope we all meet each other there.


Anonymous said...

We're keeping him in our prayers too. Thanks for the post. We all need to be reminded how blessed we are and what our real reason for living is. All the other things don't matter if your life is not right first. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes an unfortunate and terribly painful experience to remind us not to take one moment of life for granted.

Angela said...

I can't believe this is happening to Benjie, either. It is so sad, but knowing him, I know he will make the best of things, like he always has.

And I'm sure he'd be flattered that you think he is in his 50s, but I'm pretty sure he is over 60 years old.

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