Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mother gripe

Ok, so remember how I mentioned I think I'm having gallbladder problems?  I call my mom after church to see if she could come stay with me next week since Hubby will be on an overnight business trip and I've got my doc's appointment.  No doubt I will probably have to schedule a few additional appointments for tests and such next week as well.  All she had to do was pack her bags and I'd come pick her up.

Her response?  "Well..................I GUESS I could come for a day or two, but I really need to be sewing."  (She has a doll clothing line she sells on ebay for literally next to nothing and makes NO money at it at all - not to mention my step-dad has told me before that she doesn't do as much as she tells me she does.)  So it was a big fat excuse again.

I'm sorry.  I hate to keep complaining about things, but my mom is one sore subject.  I grew up in a NOT FUN household with her and after 28 years I just can't get past how my mom often acts like she HATES me.  I know she doesn't.  I know it was how she was raised and how she was never given the opportunity I've been given to get out of a dead beat town and explore LIFE.

I constantly have to rely on my in-laws for things.  My sister in law already graciously accepted watching the kids during my appointment Tuesday and she works from home making real money.  I waste her valuable time having to ask her to watch them while I go to stinkin' appointments all the time.  She's never complained and always seemed happy to do it for me.  Thank you, Melissa.  I was TRYING to save you from having to come over but it looks like my plan has gone up in smoke.

But why oh why can't my mother WANT to spend time with me and her grandchildren?  I got a bum dad AND a bum mom.  Boy, I sure did get lucky in the parental department, huh?  But you know, I still say that all of that led me here where I am today.

I'll always feel an empty space where my mother should be.  We've never been close and while I can admit that I don't all I could to make sure we are, it began long before I had the social skills to maintain a relationship.  And furthermore, it shouldn't be all on me.  She should get off her lazy behind sometime and make something happen for herself.  Stop making all those excuses because it requires effort.  I honestly can't imagine EVER not wanting to be with my kids.  If any of them lived only two hours away, no matter what my circumstance, I'd do everything I could to see them at least every few weeks.

Would you, or am I being obtuse?


Anonymous said...

Hang in there. I know it is hard, but fortunately, you have in laws that are more than willing to help and wonderful sister-in-laws. We understand more than you would think, except for us it is on Marc's side. His mom just in the last few months really started taking an interest in the grandchildren and his dad is well, weak to say the least.

Hang in there and I hope you don't have much trouble with your gallbladder, especially while hubby is gone.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Well, some people are funny.
My mom is an hour away and I know I can always count on her to help me but I try not to ask too often because it's kind of far and I know she'll say yes. LOL
All you can do is pray your mom has a change of heart in matters like these. It's her loss right now.

hubby said...

If she continues to act like she does then she doesn't deserve a daughter like you. You have risen above your upbringing and I am so proud of you for that and proud that you are my wife. I am thankful to God that My kids will not have to go through what you do.

hubby said...

OUR kids... I meant OUR kids. ;o)