Want to win an HP TouchSmart?

You can visit http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/12/hp-touchsmart-giveaway.html and win your very own HP TouchSmart! Who wouldn't like this for a Christmas gift? Head on over for your chance to win!

My famous Chocolate Chip Molasses Cookies

Ok, so after you read this, I'm going to have to kill you but a friend of mine posted a virtual cookie swap on her blog at http://www.jennifershirk.blogspot.com/. I thought I'd participate and share my famous Chocolate Chip Molasses Cookie recipe. This recipe trumps my mother in laws (or so my hubby says) in the yummy department. I can't believe I finally got one right! This is 8 years of experimentation finally gone right.

Chocolate Chip Molasses Cookies
2 cups white sugar
1 tbsp real molasses
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 stick butter, melted
1 bag milk chocolate chips

Combine all of these ingredients then add 1.5-2 cups of flour until the dough is no longer sticky. Spoon onto cookie sheet and bake for around 8 minutes, until the edges and peaks are golden brown. Remove and enjoy with a big, fat glass o'milk!

Have a Merry Christmas!

Happy birthday to me

Tomorrow, I will be 29. The last year of my twenties. The last year to do something stupid and get away with it, cause let's face it...once thirty hits, we're adults and have to face reality.

Only I? Have lived that way most of my life.

I haven't blogged much recently because not only have things been insanely crazy for our family, I just haven't felt like it. My mood for the last six months is most accurately described as BLAH. Thankfully, after some tests and doctors visits, we're on the road to making things better. I tell ya, I sure could use a break from BLAH.

I can't help but feel sad my twenties are almost over. Tomorrow I'll be 29. Some really great things happened. I moved. I got married. I quit working. I had three children. I will celebrate 9 years of marriage before I turn 30. I'm hoping I can add something else great to this list before this time next year.

Now I'm kinda left with the bereft feeling of....now what? I told my husband recently, "We're married, we're done having kids. Now we just get old and die." A friend of mine said, "But next you get to have grandchildren and then retire!" Retirement happened for me a week before Punky was born. Grandchildren are my children's "having a baby" milestone. Likely to happen, but not guaranteed. Surely out of three, I can snag at least one though.

I just get this panicky feeling in my chest where I feel like things are slipping away. I'm crazy, I know. I'm not even thirty. But I didn't finish college, so there's nothing to fall back on when my kids are old enough to spread their wings. My biggest fear is I'm going to be one of those parents who completely lose it when their kids leave home. My mother in law is a great example of what I DO want to be. I believe cultivating healthy friendships through early parenthood and making time for yourself helps avoid that. But none of us really know until we get there.

I keep thinking maybe this whole writing thing will pan out for me. But I'm no closer than I was a year ago, when I decided this was going to be the year. I did finish two novels this year though and I'm very proud of them. I'm finally getting the hang of the whole writing thing. I hope eventually something will happen in those regards for me.

So I'd like to look back on this next year and say I've accomplished a few things. Here are my goals for 29:

1. Lose 15-20 pounds. I'd like to start my 30's off on a good note. I dont think I could handle a double whammy.
2. Edit current MS and write another book
3. Find a part time job
4. Take the kids to Disney and pay CASH (why I listed #3!)
5. Crack down on our budget so we can save for retirement. If we actually have retirement money, I might look forward to it a little more!
6. Start an IRA for myself and contribute the maximum amount
7. do something totally wild and crazy (by my standards)
8. Create an author website.
9. Find friends who GET me. No fluff. I want the down and dirty, what you see is what you get kinda friends.
10. Make a long-term plan for my life that I can be excited about.

There. Now I'm going to need some encouragement to keep these goals. I'll take whatever you want to give.

Passionate Critters Blog

Blogged over at Passionate Critters today. Stop in and comment!

Happy birthday, Cupcake. You're ONE!

Cupcake,

I've thought long and hard about this letter, mainly because it's the last "first" letter I'll probably ever right. I want it to be perfect and special in all the ways you are.

I can't begin to tell you what a blessing you've been in my life. From the second they put you on my tummy straight from the womb and I thought, "Oh my, what a tiny mouth she has!" to now, exactly one year later, I've been filled with love and happiness. I'm sure by the time you're reading this, you know you weren't exactly planned, but I couldn't imagine our family being complete without you.

You slept through the night on your three month birthday and have ever since. You've learned to smile and say dada, mama, baba, bite bite, hi, bye bye, whoa, baby, no no, uh oh, and probably a few more I haven't picked up on yet. You went to your first Bible class when you were six months old. You learned to sit up around then, too. By 9 months, you crawled and by 10 you were pulling up and cruising. You still haven't walked, but I know it's coming very soon!

Your smile has brought me endless joy. You've been such an easy baby and it's hard to capture with words the joy you seem to find in life. Your little adult chuckle always makes me laugh. And I love how you call for me over the monitor when you're awake. Your little crooked two-tooth smile never fails to brighten my day.

The best part of all has been going to your room and picking you up, all warm and soft from sleep and hearing you say "Ooooh" as you give me a kiss and then lay your head on my shoulder, patting me with your little chubby hand. One day, when your too big for me to pick up, I want those memories to be with me. These baby days are so short and there was once a day not long ago I wished them away. If only they would sleep through the night...If only they were potty trained...if only...

If only I could keep you little just a little longer.

God gave me my "angel baby" so that I would always look back on these days with joy. I know the day will come you will walk, talk in sentences, eat with a spoon, potty train, dress yourself, and develop your own opinion. I will savor those days, too, just as I have with your brother and sister. There's something bittersweet about saying goodbye to your last baby, but I'm also saying hello to my last toddler, which is still just as special.

Someday, I pray, I will watch you become a Christian. I will watch you make wise choices and make not only me, but yourself and God proud. I will watch you grow with the joy only a mother can have towards her child.

Cupcake, happy birthday. I love you so much.

Tomorrow, as we celebrate, I hope you know you will always be my...

I've been tagged by Jennifer!

I was tagged by Jennifer over at Me, My Muse and I. Since I haven't had much to blog about lately, I thought this would give me something to do!

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person or persons who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random and/or revealing things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog
6. Let the tagger know when your post entry is up on your site.
Six Random/Revealing Things About Myself:

1) I wear a size 5.5 shoe. I HATE my small feet!

2) I have an uncontrollable, inexplicable fear of puking. I'd rather be extremely nauseous for a week than puke once and feel better.

3) The greatest experience in life is having children. Marriage is a close second. Both teach you every possible combination of patience and love.

4) I hated lit classes in college despite the fact that I'm a writer!

5) I went to college for 2.5 years and dropped out. I wanted to be a wife and mother more than I wanted a fancy degree.

6) I love action movies more than girly movies. Hubby got lucky on that one!

Kinda boring, huh? Since I don't get many readers these days, consider yourself tagged if you read this and haven't already done it! Can't wait to see what you come up with!

Balloons!

So last weekend my two girls went to a birthday party and came home with a balloon. Punky and Chicken fought constantly over the thing and continued to make that squeaky, annoying sound. While I was gone running errands, Hubby decided he had enough.

"C'mon kids. Let's go in the kitchen and pop it. It'll make a loud noise!" He lines Punky, Chicken and Cupcake up like little soliders.

1, 2, 3!

He pops the balloon.

All the kids fell into stunned silence with slack jaws and rounded eyes.

After a few moments, Cupcake (the 11 month old) said, "Whoa!"

Food for thought...

"Mommy, are we going to heaven?" Punky, my three year old asks.

"Yes, as long as we do what God says, we will!" I reply, loving that she was thinking on such things.

"Can we drive our car?"

"Uhhhh...."

Happy belated birthday, Old Man.

Dear Hubby,

I just realized I was so busy on your birthday I never wrote you the traditional letter. So here I am, 5 days later, doing it anyway.

Last year, I warned you of your oldness coming this year, at the big 3.0. But surprisingly, you're not in depends, you still have all your teeth and while you do snore, at least you can get yourself out of the bed without the aide of walker. I'm proud of you! ;oD

In all seriousness, I think our little weekend getaway to Mentone, Alabama was amazing. I wish we could have stayed there a week. Hiked more. Eaten more. Because for about 1.75 days, we had no responsibility and it kinda felt like we were dating again. I watched you laugh...I saw the real smile where I could see your dimple. I love that smile.

Since having our kids, we have a hard time connecting due to our chaotic lives but this weekend, we connected. And I'm still trying to digest the fact we didn't fight once!!! ;oD

I love you, Bryan. Every day, while it probably doesn't seem like it, I thank God for you and how my life has turned out. I thank God for the wonderful father you are to our children, the provider you are to us, and husband you are to me. Life has a knack for getting in the way and I don't tell you those things enough.

I love you, all of you. Thank you for picking me.

Stephanie

Why I need a vacation

One day, I'll have some time to breath

So...about a week and a half ago I was in the garage getting ready for a yard sale while the kids were playing in the driveway. I was focused on my task and not paying much attention to them other than to make sure they hadn't wondered off.

Then, I heard Punky's telltale scream of horror and pain. I look and her hand is dripping blood. I run over to her, prepared to bandage up whatever it is and tell her to shake it off and stop overreacting (I'm convinced she has a fear of blood...something that baffles me since no one but my father in law in our family possesses this fear. I have to calm her down a lot about it.

However, what I saw was nothing that would be bandaged up and shaken off. She definitely needed stitches. Off we went to the pediatric ER and she had two stitches (which she felt going in...stupid doc didn't even bother to give her a shot and opted instead for numbing "gel" that apparently numbs about as well as a piece of ice.

So we've been dealing with the bandage changing and such since then. Yesterday, she got her stitches out and is band-aid free now although she's still favoring it quite a bit. What an ordeal.

This morning I rolled out of bed at 4:15 to have Cupcake at the hospital for surgery on a clogged tear duct. Not a big deal and she's ok now (peacefully sleeping as a matter of fact) but it's hard to see your baby being carried away by a complete stranger with a hair net and atrociously colored scrubs. Everyone was so very nice and I held it together (miraculously). When I went to see her in recovery, she had just woken up.

I guess I expected to see her sitting up and playing. Instead she was laying on her back, looking around with her big blue eyes and had her thumb in her mouth. She was obviously feeling insecure about her surroundings. When she saw me, her eyes lit up, she smiled a big smile and reached for me. It was the sweetest moment to know that she recognized me and loved me that much.

Of course, she worked her charm on all the doctors and nurses and everyone was having a duck over her. One man even shook his head and said, "I can't believe you're old enough to have a baby, much less three!" I laughed and told him thank you for saying that, it always makes this almost 29 year old feel super special! With everything going on in this house right now, I certainly don't feel young!

Now? I'm exhausted. I went to the gym for the first time last night in two weeks. My feet hurt. My back hurts. I'm fat. I think I have another ear infection. I need a babysitter.

I just need a nap and a vacation. Oh, and maybe some liposuction.

Out of sorts

Every day this week has been a struggle.

My kids are on a mission to make me certifiably insane. You think I'm kidding? Yes? Think again. Chicken started running a fever on Monday. Sinus crud. Still not convinced there's not some food rotting in his sinus cavity that we'll have to have surgery for.

Punky has been extra whiny and I have no idea what her deal is.

Cupcake is teething AND is going to have to have surgery to open up a clogged tear duct in the near future. But I'm not too worried about it, supposedly it's only a 5-10 minute surgery.

Not only that, but my energy level is next to nothing. I can barely hold my head up during the day. And if one person mentions the "P" word I'll hunt you down like a dog. I'm not pregnant!!! I think I might be getting a little anemic or something. Lot's of headaches, lots of irritability, lots of yuckiness. I've drastically cut back on our red meat and my lack of iron intake is probably the culprit.

At any rate, I just don't want to do anything but sit or sleep.

I also got a few rejections on my newest MS. No big deal, to be honest. The only thing is one of the agents gave me some much appreciated advice to lengthening my story. It's only at 45K (5K less than I thought it was, too!)so I'm literally going to have to double it. Not an easy feat! I've been pretty bummed about that, too.

Sooo, sorry I haven't been around for awhile. Can't say I will be posting with any regularity, either until things start going a little better. hopefully this post finds you feeling well and excited about the weekend!

Dear Christa,

I haven't seen you in EIGHT years. Eight. My wedding day was the last time. We've talked MAYBE 3 or 4 times in those eight years. Before that, we were friends for 15 years, from the first day of kindergarten to that fateful day in college when I had to force you from my dorm room because I didn't agree with your choices.

You've become a recluse.

You've become someone I don't know.

You've become someone I don't WANT to know.

Imagine my surprise when you actually called me and wanted to see me while I was at my parents house in GA, where we grew up. I eagerly agreed, anxious to see what you made of your life. I jumped in the car with you and you took me to your apartment while my children slept at my parents house.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in and your garage apartment was little more than a rat hole, reeking of cat urine and hadn't been cleaned since the day you moved in. I tried not to let my disgust show. My disgust was directed more at how much you changed, not necessarily the uncleanliness itself. When I knew you before, you complained because I left dirty dishes in the sink in our dorm. You hated filth.

Imagine my surprise when your boyfriend showed up with a case of sprite in - what I assume - was a peace offering for me, the "holy roller." After a few minutes, the beer came out and my panic set in. You had to drive me home to my children.

Then it happened. I saw your boyfriend hand you something that you kept close to your side. A few moments later you said, "Yes, I still smoke marijuana and I'm going to do it front of you." You took a hit and then your boyfriend did the same. I later described this device you used and my step-dad told me it sounded more like a crack or meth pipe. Considering you had aged 20 years in 8, it doesn't surprise me. And also considering your cousin is on the drug task force and you freely admitted to me he was onto to you, I don't believe it was just marijuana. Just because I've never once in my life been around that kind of thing (save the few times you've brought it around me), I'm not stupid.

I'm so angry at you. We hadn't seen each other in 8 years and your desire to get high overrode your need to see me, someone who used to be your best friend. You're so addicted you didn't think of my sleeping children and the fact you had to get behind the wheel with their mother with you. Hind sight is 20/20 and I should have simply walked out, called my family to come get me and never look back. Instead, I stupidly sat in your car as you drove, drunk and high, with my fists clenched and a continual prayer for my safety and my children's flowing through my mind.

You hugged me when we pulled into the driveway, sobbing about the past and our friendship. Do you even realize how unhappy you are? Do you even care? Did you not want more for yourself than a rat hole garage apartment and a life full of fuzzy memories? Does the temporary escape of being high mean more to you than a life filled with permanent joy and happiness? Have you not learned from your dying father, who spent his whole life doing exactly what you're doing now, that a life full of these things doesn't amount to anything in the end?

I wonder what you saw when you looked at me. Did you see the judgmental holy roller you used to deem me? Did the fact that I told you to take me home the second I realized what you had leave an impression? When I told you I had children to think about now, did you think twice about your choices? Did it even dawn on you that if I had been caught with the two of you doing whatever it was you were doing, my own life could have been ruined, and by association, my family's?

You didn't think of anyone but yourself.

One day, I'm not going to be angry at you for wasting your life away. One day, I'll sit down and cry for that smart girl I grew up with who always made me laugh. I'll sob for the third grader who stood next to me and sang Madonna's Like a Prayer with me to our entire class. I'll wish that your dreams of going to SCAD and becoming a writer and artist would have happened. And I'll wish that you had never agreed to go to college with me because that's where you met all of those people who made you who you are today.

But not now. Right now I'm too angry.

And when you asked me if I was still going to call you? Remember how I didn't answer? The answer is no. I prefer to remember you as you were 10 years ago.

Someone I wasn't ashamed of.

Kids now days

Do YOU remember getting nothing but plastic eggs filled with candy for easter? I tell ya, that was a rare treat if I got those. I haven't even SEEN the hardboiled ones really since my kids have been big enough to hunt eggs. Maybe this is because I have young children who will inevitably squoosh a real egg between their chubby fingers, but bottom line? Kids now days are spoiled rotten.

And maybe even the parents because I didn't want the mess of hard boiled eggs with a 3 and 2 year old AND I wanted the candy probably as much as they did. See the picture below? Yup, Chicken found the REAL meaning of easter...

The End

So on Monday, I typed two precious, wonderful words. THE END.

I felt elated. I felt awesome. I felt complete.

I felt FREAKED OUT! What on earth do I do now? Edits? Sure! Rewrites? Sure! Submit to agents...WHAT?!

I think that step and that step alone is the main reason I have about 4 finished novels and haven't done anything with them. I too afraid to submit. I'm not afraid of rejection. I've been rejected by about 8 agents (the few I've actually submitted to). I don't expect to be like Nicholas Sparks and get a million dollar advance for my first book (but wouldn't that be niiiiice?!).

My main concern is wondering if I'd be ready for the demanding lifestyle I hear being an author is. I quit my job to stay with my kids. If I was to get published now or even in a few years, that would take valuable time away from them. I don't know...it's all so scary to think about.

Not that I'm presumptuous enough to think I'm good enough to get published right now, but it's something that's always on my mind when I type THE END.

Anywho, thank all of you who have supported me and have offered to read it for me. I hope to complete it by June 1 and have it out to those of you who are going to beta read it. I look forward to your feedback!

Rock on!

Tonight at dinner, Punky, Chicken and I were all watching TV (I know, I'm a horrible mother, but at least we were all at the same table...the TV just happened to be in sight.). A picture of our president came on and I heard Punky saying, "Barrrack Obaaaama." I instantly get tickled...mainly because I've only taught the kid who he was ONCE (and only once...I'm hoping his name will be all she remembers!). I said, "What did you say, Punky?"

She gets all shy on me and refuses to say it again.

I urge her to tell me.

She looks at me with a grin and says:

Can you teach Chicken how to say Rocker Bama?

Goodbye Old Friend

I said goodbye to a friend last night. One I've known for over half my life. Go here to see it.

I won't admit that I cried like a baby during the one hour "15 year history" but didn't cry at the end of the actual show. I also won't admit that I really do feel like I have a hole in my heart this morning, especially since it's all over the news this morning.

For those of you who don't know me, I hate change. Especially when it's something I've been invested in for so long. But it's just a TV show, I know you're saying. Well, it's the ONLY TV show I had to see. I mean, I won't even work out on Thursdays. If we go somewhere, I MUST be home by 9. It was so sad to see it end.

A lot of people moved on to Grey's Anatomy. I tried watching it but it just wasn't the same, not to mention I felt like I was cheating on ER, ha! Michael Creighton was an amazing author and creator and I can only hope to create something so wonderful one day. I don't see myself envisioning a Jurassic Park, but he was great at emotion. He passed away this year from cancer.

So, I'm hoping this new show taking ER's place, Southland, captures my attention...otherwise, Thursdays at 9 pm will be a sad time!

Congrats, Jennifer!

I just wanted to take a moment to let you all know that my e-friend and crit partner, Jennifer Shirk's romantic comedy, A Role of a Lifetime came out today in print! Buy it here TODAY!

Congratulations, Jennifer, I'm so proud of you!

Snack anyone?

Yesterday after all the rain we've gotten I flushed EIGHT earthworms down our toilet that somehow managed to get inside...and most of them had burrowed down into my shag carpet in the playroom. For the record, earthworms rank about as high on the ick scale as snakes for me, so it was a long day and I still have the creeps from it.

So it only made sense when Chicken walks up to me this morning saying, "EWWWW!" and hands me something round, brown and gray, and covered in snot, that I thought it was probably a slug that he smooshed. If an earthworm can get in, surely a slug could, too?

Upon closer inspection of this snotty thing, I realized it had...well...wrinkles. And looked a little like a...grape. Suddenly everything fell into place. Chicken's sudden onset of another "cold"...waking up over an hour early from his nap and pointing to his nose while crying (I dismissed this just thinking he was upset his nose was stuffy)...unable to blow the left nostril at all (again, I thought it was just a cold)...the dark shadow up his nose that I figured was that black marker he'd been playing with and decided to color in his nose. Well...apparently my son had stored a raisin the size of my thumb (in its rehydrated state) up his nose for safe keeping.

I'm amazed he was able to get it out. I didn't hear him sneeze or anything (which was how he rid himself of the cheerios he put up there during church last Sunday) but just came walking up to me with it. I have a feeling this is going to be a looooong toddlerhood.

Hooray!

This week has been a busy one. I started out taking food to two family's on Monday - one who had a baby, the other who had surgery. I didn't necessarily plan it that way, but it worked out just fine. I didn't mean to forget their salad's either, but I did. At least we enjoyed it on Tuesday night, when I had Hubby's family over. Last night was church and workout afterwards. Tonight, I have to get my nails done (priorities, people!) and get a few groceries and a prescription.

Speaking of that prescription, I'm so happy I got it. Let me explain.

For a month now, I've been working out for at least 3 days a week. One week I only did it once, but it's still WAY more than I was doing. I'm watching what I eat (although Hubby will indisputably prove - with photographic evidence no doubt-the empty wrappers of easter candy. But still, I haven't been eating WORSE than I normally do, and in fact am averaging about 1500 calories a day before my workouts.

I've lost ZERO pounds. Those two pounds I thought I lost was apparently due to the antibiotics I was taking and the...ahem, effects they have on me. So when I realized that I not only haven't LOST, I have in fact GAINED, I knew it wasn't necessarily me (although I admit to eating the cadbury eggs, OK!?).

My OB put me on insulin medication when I was diagnosed with PCOS almost 8 years ago. It was my miracle drug. I stopped gaining weight (was able to lose, too), all my other problems went away and everything just sort of leveled out and I felt human. I was so grateful for it. After Cupcake was born, he reduced my dose from 3 to 1 pill a day. Slowly, everything has started coming back. EVERYTHING (including the unexplained weight gain). I felt like a huge cloud was over my head because I wasn't listening when my gut told me I needed to continue taking it. I finally called yesterday to see if we could up it again to at least 2, and he went ahead and put me back on 3. I'm so happy. Seriously. I've been on cloud nine all day today.

Now, if I don't start losing weight, I really will know it's the Cadbury eggs!

Sorry, I know this is a boring post, but I'm celebrating today!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME LATELY!?!?!

Note to self: Support bottom of pie when removing from the oven.

My Sweet Baby!

WIP Wednesday - Ed.3

Want to find out how far I've gotten on my latest WIP? Visit me at www.musevswriter.blogspot.com. It's my new writing blog.

How she managed this I'll never know...

Forget food, Batman is the way to their hearts!

Since Chicken has pink eye, I didn't want to leave him at my in-laws house, so I took him with me (because after all 1 is better than 3 when you're out and about!). He got to go shopping with me.

Let me tell you, the boy is a nut about Batman. He's got a toddler sized batman in the play room. He's got several cars that are batman. And after he picked out a little matchbox car he wanted, we ran over to the baby section to grab some rice cereal for Cupcake. Low and behold there was a clearance display of backpacks. One of them was of batman and it had the little rollers and handle and everything on it. $5. The kid was so excited over it, he through down his car, and said, "DIS! NEE NEE!" (this, Batman --he calls batman by the song, you know, nene nene nene nene nene nene nene nene BATMAN!) I knew he was telling me that was his final decision.

I hadn't ever seen him so excited over something before so I couldn't say no. Especially for $5. He rolled the thing right to the check out and out of the store, all the way to the car. Then commenced pulling the handle up and down all the way home.

I picked up his sisters at the in-laws and on the way home he was mumbling something. I looked back and him and he grinned acting shy. I said, "What did you say Buddy?"

It was words I never thought I'd hear from him on his own because our relationship isn't the best these days since he requires so much discipline. I've been agonizing a lot over it, too and how to make things better for us. Just when you think all hope is lost you hear three little words uttered from those precious lips:

"Wuv you, Mommy!"

Hi, I'm Stephanie. Remember me?

The new me has emerged. For 3 years now, I've been sitting at home all day and my only company was a 3, 2 and 8 month old. They're great company, don't get me wrong. But I need social interaction with people my age at some point. I don't even have to talk, just BEING around other people makes me feel better.

So about 3 weeks ago I joined my local gym. And I LOVE it. I even conned a friend of mine into joining with me (shhhh, she doesn't know I conned her yet). I haven't lost much weight, but I'm getting there. Only about 2 pounds so far. I'm even starting to crave the physical activity. Yeah, I know. The devil is snow skiing right now.

But seriously, I love it. I'm also writing more. I'm taking time for myself...and as an added bonus, it's after the kids go to bed, so I don't have to feel bad for leaving everyday. They still get mommy time, I still get ME time. It's a win-win situation. I've noticed a huge improvement in my mood, too, not just toward life, but toward my kids and my patience level. With the kids being sick so much this year, I was starting to feel depressed and was spending too much time dwelling on things that in the long run don't really matter. Now? It's pretty much gone. I think this has been my ticket out of my 6 month long funk.

It's easy as mother's to forget we're still human. When you have to balance children, husbands, house cleaning, cooking, laundry and yourself it's a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes instead of God we can start worshipping those things and lose ourselves and our goals in life. We can take on so much more than we can handle like making sure dinner's on the table at a certain time, our husband's clothes are ironed (I still don't get this one since they're just as capable as we are, but I have friends who do it!), entertaining people in our home and all the while dealing with all our regular chores and sick kids. Being a mommy and a wife doesn't mean we lose ourselves in the process. Yes, we come last and that's ok...as long as we're actually on our to-do list.

When I think about how I was feeling and how I know some of my friends feel, I realize even more now, how important it is to get out, get some fresh air and just BE. For the first time in a long while, I feel like ME again. That doesn't mean my life is perfect or I have it all together, but I have a clearer handle on where I NEED to be and I'm working to get there. And the best part? I don't feel one bit guilty.

Hello, my name is Stephanie. Remember me? I finally do.

So tired....

Apparently there's nothing like falling asleep in your jumparoo. And ear infections take a lot out of her!

What a good hubby I have....

Have I ever mentioned what a good hubby I have? He sent me this email and I encourage everyone to go to the link and read the blog there, even if you aren't into photography. It's a great thought to start the day off with! And I keep reading it over and over again because Hubby made my day!

I thought this was a great post by a guest blogger on Scott Kelby's blog (he has a guest every wednesday).

http://www.scottkelby.com/blog/2009/archives/3510

It's written for photographers but I think it has much farther reaching applications than just photography. Anyway, if you don't have the time to read the whole thing at least read the last paragraph. I'm glad you are taking the time to get your book finished and I hope you WILL finish it and market it until it either succeeds or fails and you have to write the next "winner." I know you'll get there eventually, I just hope you keep pushing and experimenting and find your voice and ultimately succeed at fulfilling your dream. I'll help as best I can. I love you.

Hubby

WIP Wednesday - Ed.2

My goal was to finish up Chapter 10 and start 11 last week. I'm happy to say I even FINISHED chapter 11 this week. At the end of chapter 12, I hit the black moment. I thought it would be at the end of 11, but my characters had other plans...Now I have to figure out what happens in the beginning and middle of Chapter 12 to get to the end I already have in mind. And it's going to be so sad to write it...

I even sent out a couple of e-queries to see what kind of response I would get. I only sent out 3 and got one rejection almost immediately. But hey, that's one rejection closer to an acceptance right? I know if I continue as determined as I am now, I will do it one day. I might be 70 but at least I'll be able to say I'm a published author and I'll die a happy lady.

40000 / 75000 words. 53% done!

I'm standing around 40,000 words out of what I hope to be around a 75K book. Being at the black moment by 45K words probably isn't a good sign but that's something I can go back and fix during revisions. My crit partners have already helped me immensely and I've got some great suggestions on where to lengthen, where to shorten and where to trash and write over! ;oD

My goals for this week is to write chapter 12. I'm afraid to write it at the moment because I don't really know how to get to the ending, as I mentioned earlier. So it's probably going to be like pulling teeth!

Stay tuned next week!

The Greatest Show on Earth!

We took Chicken to the circus for his birthday instead of having a big party.  At first he buried his face in my neck, shaking and terrified.  It didn't help that he was running a 101 fever that morning (I normally NEVER take my kids out when they're sick, but the $150 we paid for tickets couldn't go to waste!) but for the record once the motrin kicked in he was fine but probably still infected half the kids around us with his coughing.  I guess it was time to pay it forward since we always catch but rarely share.  I finally turned him so he could still hold on to me but see what was going on.  He loosened up a little at a time and finally started clapping and yelling and getting excited.  The elephants did it for him.  He was mesmerized.

Toward the end of the show, the lions came out.  I tell ya, there was a point where I thought one of them was going to eat the tamer.  It was stubborn and was clearly the problem "child" out of the lot.  But they were beautiful creatures.

Punky was pretty unsure of everything, too for about the first half.  She never loosened up like Chicken did but she did start talking to us again instead of just a nod or shake of the head.  Here they are watching the clowns perform.

We paid good money for the Greatest Show on Earth and it was pretty spectacular.  It was the first circus I've ever been to, so my kids and I got to share a first!!!

Misadventures in bread making

Warming eye accidentally set on high + plastic bowl = FAIL

Work In Progress Wednesday Ed. 1

My crit partner, Kate, began a really cool idea since we're all writers and such called work in progress Wednesday, where I update everyone on the status of my current WIP.  Since I'm so excited about current WIP, I thought I'd play along.  Now, I'm not fancy like Kate and know how to put those cool little wordometers here, but I can tell you, I made progress this week.

First off, I drove the Squirrel Mobile (Hubby's dilapidated Kia Rio) over to Starbucks on Tuesday evening.  I sat in the corner sipping a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino, next to the door I might add (in 40 degree weather) typing away at my chapter 9.  I finished it up and started 10 before my enthusiasm waned and I headed home.

It was the most relaxing time I've had since becoming a mother, I tell ya.  I could focus 100% on me, knowing my kids were well taken care of by their father (let's just say it's a good thing he doesn't have hair!) and I was totally into this writing.  My work wasn't as choppy and flowed from my fingertips.  No kids yelling from the living room as I sat on my bed, trying to ignore them after Hubby got home.  Nope, I just wrote with no worries.

Well, I will admit I was a little worried over the lack of good music Starbucks played.  Note to self:  Must bring IPOD with more appropriate mood music.  Frank Sinatra, James Blunt and other bland elevator music doesn't put me in a mood to write a romance novel with tragic elements.  But in their defense, people aren't there to listen to head-banging melodramatic rock, either, so I guess we both compromised.  I'll bring my IPOD and they'll please all the OTHER customers with their music...and I'll still get my frappuccino, a quiet atmosphere and we'll live happily ever after!

I'm almost to the black moment with my WIP.  My characters are getting in deep and everything about to ripped out from under them.  I hate writing the black moment, but it does drive me forward to hurry up and give them their happily ever after.  In approximately 2 more chapters, I'm to the dreaded day where my heroine and hero can't tackle their obstacles...yet.

My goal is to finish up chapter 10 and start 11 before Sunday.  With a gym class tonight, Hubby gone tomorrow and the circus on Saturday, I'm going to be hard pressed but I think I can do it!

Somebody send me some cheerleaders!

2 Years Old

My dearest Chicken on your 2nd birthday:

I know one day you'll be older reading this thinking, "Aww, Mom, do you hafta get all mushy on me like this?"  Well, son, yes.  I do.

The truth is, the second I saw you, I fell in love.  You were God's special gift to us for a totally different reason than Punky was.  With Punky, it took us 3 years to get her.  But God decided to give us to you with no worries, no tears and no struggle.  I bonded with you from the delivery room.  I'll never forget your big newborn eyes looking up at me as you nursed.  It's one of the most special moments as a mother I will always cherish.

Then, you grew into a baby, and a chubby baby at that.  You were so rotund, people couldn't help but smile at you.  You were a mama's boy at first and always had a special smile for me.  I LOVED seeing you smile and eventually hearing your laugh.  You weren't in any hurry to talk, but you made up for it physically.  You walked at 11 months and haven't stopped going strong ever since.  It was like having a little live-in Michelin baby walking around.  

As you grew into a toddler, I was amazed at your love for your eldest sister and now, your baby sister.  I thought you'd be really ticked off being sandwiched between two girls but you've taken it in stride and became an awesome big brother to Cupcake.  Not to mention you and Punky have a bond that I'm so proud of.  You are blessed to have siblings and I hope you always know that.

You also love your Daddy so very much.  Hearing your sweet voice call out, "DADDY!" when he comes home from work as you run to hug his knees fills me with a sense of pride that only you can give me.  And you do the same thing when I come home after being away.  There's nothing I want more in those moments than to hold you close and keep you my little boy just a little longer.

But sure, in the grand scheme of time, two isn't that big, right?  You're still little, but I know it will pass so quickly.  Sometimes I look at you and see the man that you will one day become.  Those baby blues will knock some girl off her feet.  I can tell you right now, Son, you will make me proud.  I see a tender heart in you, affection, and an adventurous side that will provide you with endless possibilities.

This year you learned to talk.  One day you were barely saying ten words and then the next you came up to me and said, "Mommy, Iunt bite too-tee." (I want a bite of cookie).  From that day forward you put more words together and I can tell you're finally getting the hang of it.  I'm learning your language and even though I still have to interpret a lot, you're getting clearer and clearer.  And even a little sly when you throw in a "Peeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssse!" when you don't get your way.

You also learned how to go potty.  You're not completely trained yet, but we're going to get there soon.  I think you learned by watching Punky for the most part so this year, we're going to work on that!

Son, there are many days you get overlooked, or put off because of your other siblings.  I truly know why people talk about the "middle child syndrome".  There will never be enough time in the day for me to tell you how much I love you as often as I want to, or how much you - my special and only son - hold a place in my heart.  I hope you never doubt that or feel inadequate.  I pray our relationship will grow and flower into a unbreakable bond.  I want you to always be able to talk to me, even if it's in your own language.

And I promise you, no matter what you say my heart will understand you.  Because you'll always be my little boy.

I love you,

Mommy

P.S. To the circus we go on Saturday, in honor of your birthday!

On even ground...and fully clothed

I present to you Captain Chicken Sparrow, evil pirate who kidnaps young maidens.  Don't let the half-smile and baby blues fool you, he uses them to his advantage to lure you in. 

Captain Chicken Sparrow kidnapped Princess Alexa, who is desperately looking for a way out of the large ship she is in.  Captain Chicken Sparrow is proud of his handiwork and continues to torture Princess Alexa via stolen sippy cups, rough treatment of her Barbie's and stabbing her mercilessly with his foam fighting sword.

But somewhere along the way, Princess Alexa and Captain Chicken Sparrow form a truce of sorts and become friends.  They start to share, hold hands and realize there is nothing more fun than to play together....and forming an alliance to overthrow their true captain, Captain Mommy.  But Captain Mommy is on to them...

Or else!

Last night we all sat down at the dinner table for some yummy salmon patties and corn casserole.  Punky sweetly asked me to sit with her, so I sat down next to her.  Hubby and I began a discussion about...well, I forget now.  But as usual, I was getting into the conversation and talking excitedly and being a little boisterous.

Punky very gently put her pudgy hands against my forearm and looked at me very seriously.

"Be nice to each other, Mommy....or I'll rip your face off!"

Ahem, Hubby?  This one is all yours.

It's just simply time.

Has anyone ever noticed how opinionated some people can be?  I mean, half my friends - wait, who am I kidding? - all of my friends would categorize me in the opinionated column, but why do people deem it necessary to PUSH it on you?

If there's one thing I do when I offer my opinion on something, I ALWAYS tell someone before hand that it's just that - my opinion.  I never expect them to adhere to it, to take my advice or even listen to me.  I'm just not that kind of person.  I hope my friends know that I'm never meaning to be pushy or arrogant.  I'm sure most of them do know that, but I'm on record here, just so they know now if they didn't before.  Make sense?

There are about to be changes taking part in my life.  BIG changes.  As in, I'm joining a gym.  I'm spending more time away from home after the kids go down for bed at 7 pm.  I'm going to network with other writers.  I'm going to write.  It's a lot to accomplish in some 3 hours every evening before I keel over from exhaustion, but it's just time.  I've complained until I'm blue in the face about what's wrong.  Now it's time to make it right.  I think in the long run, I'll be happier.

I can either sit on my butt and be like my mother - overweight, miserable and depressed my whole life - or I can do something about it.  Yes, I'm going to complain about how tired I am, more than likely.  I might even feel that there's no relaxation time, but you know what?  I don't care anymore.  I've got to get some semblance of a life back.  Make some friends that will actually go out and do something with me, maybe even meet some other writers that dream the same things I dream about.  It would be nice to do that, I think.

However, I'm pretty sure there will be "opinions" about that.  Am I shirking my duties as a wife and mother?  No, because being a wife and mother will always be first in my world, even before me.  Am I prepared for the life being a novelist entails?  Probably not, but I'll never know unless I do it.  Do I really want to lose those 20 pounds I've been harping about for 8 years now?  Oh yessssssss.

Hi.  Nice to meet you.  I'm Stephanie.  This year is MY year.  Keep your opinions to yourself, please.

Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous in Baltimore, Maryland (and I'm pretty sure I know who you are):  

Why do my kids rarely wear clothes you ask?  

Less laundry.

Was Wednesday really the last time I posted? Yikes!  Time got away with me!  Anyway, because I need a laugh today, here's some pictures that will hopefully put a smile on your face!

Wordless Wednesday

Feeling bummed...

I don't even know where to begin to be honest.  My days are filled with doctor visit after doctor visit right now and I feel like I have a Munchausen Syndrome only the diagnosis isn't psychosis.  If only it were that simple, I might actually be able to rest and relax in my mind.

The kids and I just got over RSV.  Cupcake tested positive for it and we've all had it.  The kids all had a horrible cough and cold and I had a bad cold.

I mentioned before I've been having UTI type symptoms, but the doctor can't find anything wrong.  So he ordered a catscan thinking maybe I have a kidney stone trapped in a tube.  Nope, but I do have an ovarian cyst.

So off I go to my OB today.  He says it wasn't as big as the urologist office portrayed it to be, did a pelvic, and sent me on my way.  But he did want me to have an overall ultrasound on my ovaries just to make sure everything looked ok.  That'll be Thursday.

But wait...we still haven't solved the UTI problem.  The doctors office, whom I haven't been very happy with FINALLY calls me back today and suggests a "cysto" (what is it with me and cysts?)  She pretended I knew what this was and kept talking but I finally had to ask.  Some sort of procedure they can do I'm guessing in office (since she told me to come in) and they thread a tube up in your bladder and look at your anatomy.  Good thing I had already scheduled another appointment with a different urologist for a second opinion.

The problem with this doctor is they're so busy they even have restaurant pagers to call you back to a room.  I'm nothing but a number.  He acts annoyed if I ask him a question about all this because you know he's got 50 other patients waiting in the lobby.  I'm pretty disgusted with them.  So I asked my OB today for a different referral.  When I called for an appointment, I was excited I got a real person on the phone who was actually nice.  That'll be on Friday.

Did I mention I'm still having bad heartburn since the gallbladder surgery and should probably go see the gastroenterologist again? (Because for crying out loud, I'm only 28, not 78!!!)

I mean seriously, after this, I'm done.  I don't care how bad I feel, how bad it gets, I'm done with the petty visits.  I'm just going to accept that I'm not ever going to feel good.  I'm tired of relying on family members to come watch my kids, because seriously, Mommy just doesn't get sick days the first 10 years on the job.  If things were a little easier, I'm sure it wouldn't be such a big deal.  But it's a pain in the butt (yes, I'm sure that'll get checked out next) to get everything done right now.  Not to mention somedays I want to think about something other than a stupid doctor and what I might have to undergo next.

And least people with Munchausen's ENJOY going to the doctor.  We can safely say I don't have that...although I might be a little psychotic after all is said and done!

Brian Regan

Thanks to my wonderful critique partner, Jennifer Shirk who mentioned going to see Brian Regan for giving me the idea as part of Hubby's Christmas present!  Hubby is a huge fan and I was so excited to see he was coming to town recently.  We have never laughed so hard!  Literally, my sides are still aching!  I'll leave you with a clip of one of his jokes and wish you all a great weekend!

Click here for awesome hilarity!

Take a look!

I guest blogged over at Passionate Critters today, so drop by here and leave a comment!

I'm such a bad mother...

I don't even want to talk about what kind of day I had today. Wait, yes, I do.

Let's see. Cupcake has a terrible cold and cough, so my day started at 5:45. I finally got her back to sleep at 6:25 and fell back into bed. Chicken woke up at 7:20 ready to start his day.

I get him up and ask him what he'd like for breakfast. Yo yo! (Yogurt). He commences pointing to the table and a regular seat indicating I should put it there. "No, you have to eat it in your high chair, you'll make a mess for Mommy to clean up at the table." I pick him up and start to put him in his high chair. He bucks against me, bends his legs and refuses to sit down. I warn him about the consequences of his behavior but he cries and says, NO! "Do you want yogurt or not?" Yeah. "Then you have to get in your high chair. No! Since he was up an hour and a half early, I take him back to bed. "You have to lay back down, Chicken. You're still tired and until you're ready to obey Mommy, you have to stay in here." (Please note I'm not a believer in time out, I really was trying to get him to go back to sleep)

So he cried for about 20 minutes. Not hard, but enough that I heard him. Strike one for Bad Mommy.

I get him up and ask him if he's ready to eat his yogurt. Yeah! He says and he finally eats it.

In.His.Highchair.

Then Cupcake woke up. She wasn't happy. She didn't feel good. She slept maybe 1 hour at her longest stretch all day today. Most of the time she wallowed in her crib, fussing and crying. Strike 2 for Bad Mommy.

Then Chicken decided at lunch he was too tired to eat. Once again we went round and round. He wouldn't eat and pointed to his room, "Nigh nigh!" I'd put him in his bed, "EEEEE!" (Eat). He finally got half a dose of Benedryl because, well, I'm pretty sure I saw some snot in his nose. And he did go to bed hungry. I didn't give in and I refuse to let a toddler rule my house. He WILL obey me one way or another. Strike three for Bad Mommy.

I sent Punky to bed for her nap. I managed about a 30 minute much needed nap of my own before Cupcake woke up for another screaming session. It was then I heard Punky crying softly in her room. I went in there and she looked so pitiful. "What's wrong, Punky?" "Mommy! I peepeed all over my bed!" Yup, she had. All the way to her neck. I assured her it was ok, changed her sheets and tucked her back in. I grabbed a quick shower - quick being the operative word since Cupcake was finally up and screaming now in the bouncy seat in the bathroom with me. When I got out, Punky was peeping her head in my room, clearly NOT sleeping like she was supposed to be.

Cupcake continued to cry.

Chicken wakes up.

Hubby comes home.

I leave for my doctor's appointment.

"Don't call me unless there's blood." This Bad Mommy has struck out.

Cupcake is in the clear!

I'm so happy to announce that all of Cupcake's kidney tests came back completely normal!  Thank all of you who thought of her, prayed for her, emailed me out of concern or spoke to me directly.  It's such a relief to know that she doesn't have kidney reflux or any kind of structural abnormality.  The doctor advised us to be careful with the direction in which we wipe her, but other than that, we hope it was just a fluke and won't recur.  There's no guarantees, but I'm just so relieved that she's in the clear for now!

Just as a side note, she totally charmed the radiologist and techs.  She cried while they did the catheterization but after she calmed down, she talked to them, smiled at them growled for them (seriously if you could hear this, you'd die, it's so funny!  Note to self:  MUST get this on video) and flapped her bottom lip to make the blub blub blub sound.  They seemed to be amazed that she was so happy like this all the time.  They said that normally they screamed non-stop from start to finish.  By the time we left, I felt so proud of her for doing so well.  She had barely even slept all morning, either.

What a sweet little girl I have!

Wordless Wednesday

What a Party!

My Punky does know how to party!  We started on Friday with a "Mommy's Day".  Not only did I take Chicken and Cupcake to their Aunt's house, I told her we could go to Target and spend all of her birthday money.  She chose to get a swimming baby doll, a birthday cake play set and the Diamond Castle Barbie.  Let me just say that Barbie, who sings the Diamond Castle songs, needs new batteries already.  It's sad really.  Katherine McPhee sounds very manly when her batteries are low!

Let me also say, while I knew my daughter was musical, I didn't know to what extent until she played these songs over and over again and suddenly she's singing the words, on key including the runs.  What a little gifted musician I have!  She gets it from me in case you were wondering.

We followed up with a trip to Jump Zone that night and Punky had a blast!  

And Cupcake got her first taste of junk food thanks to Daddy...

On Saturday, we partied like it was 1999, princess style!

Then I had to blow out her candles for her because she was too embarrassed to do it herself...

But she wasn't too embarrassed to exclaim loudly to all the little girls fighting for those princesses on the cake, "No, they're mine!  I'm the princess!!!!"

And to Chicken's surprise, he thoroughly enjoyed being the only Prince (that could walk at least) amongst 10 other princesses.  He also thoroughly enjoyed his cupcake.

Sadly, Cupcake didn't even get a cupcake.

On your third birthday...

Dear Punky,

Three years ago today, I held you in my arms for the very first time.  I watched as your bottom lip pooched out-a trait I later learned you did when you were scared-and you took a breath for the first time.  I watched your father, overwhelmed with emotions, tear up and look at me with a helpless look in his eyes.  We were so smitten, so in love and so incredibly blessed to have you finally make us a family.

Even now, as you trudge your way into the study where I sit, rubbing your sleepy eyes and your hair all askew, I fall in love with you all over again.

This year was a big year for you:  You learned to go potty all the time but you still wear diapers at night.  You learned to mostly dress yourself, save the occasional backwards shirt or wrong-footed shoe.  You grew from a size 2T to half way between a 3T and a 4T.  You discovered Disney Princess movies, dress up, and that you liked to brush Mommy's hair.

By the time you're old enough to read this, you'll probably be rolling your eyes at the story, but you really are our little miracle.  For you see, three years passed with many prayers, many tears and many months without you.  My heart was empty until I found out you were growing inside of me, only I didn't know it.  The first beat of your heart filled me with life.

Everything about you, from your bright blue eyes to your baby nose to your poochy (Griffin) lips, all the way down to your fat little toes (you get those from Nana by the way) creates a peace within me that's unsurpassed by worldly things.  True joy, I've found lies within a single giggle, a hug, or a whispered I love you.  

You're so smart.  I know, all mom's say that, but you are.  You're only 3 and you speak better English than me, could argue with the best of them (although you haven't figured out I always win) and sing songs with an angel's voice.  You love listening to my Twilight soundtrack, Gavin Rossdale and your "New CD" even though you've had it for a year and a half - which could be any CD that isn't mine or your Daddy's - your Bible CD, your silly songs CD or a baby Einstein CD with classical music.  That voice, that sings your baby dolls to sleep now will one day sing your own children to sleep.  Their lives will be richer because of it.

So tomorrow, as we celebrate your birthday with your very own "Princess Party" with all your princess friends, I'll try not to cry and embarrass you.  I'll try to remember that even though you're only 3, you're always going to be my little girl.  You're always going to be that baby that pooched out her bottom lip and wailed at me.  You're always going to be the little girl who called every flower a "lellow" because Grandma's flowers were yellow.  You'll always be the little girl who stole my heart and now carries it safely tucked away in your princess purse, next to the books and baby doll things you love.

Quite simply, I'm always going to be yours.

I love you Punky,

Mommy

Growing up

Tomorrow my eldest, Punky, turns three.  It's bittersweet and as her party this weekend draws nearer, I'm finding its hard for me to accept she's getting older.  I mean...in less than 3 years, I'll be homeschooling her.  Then she'll be in high school, graduated, college, marriage, children.  It sounds silly but let's face it, time flies.

I didn't have the most traditional time making a family.  Three kids in three years made things fly by faster, it made me miss things.  It made me put her on the back burner far too many times to tend to the two youngest.  She's such a good kid, too, despite all that.  I'm not bragging about my parenting skills, everyone says that about her.  She's a sweet, tender hearted, affectionate kid who is incredibly musical and too smart for her own good most of the time.  I've been so blessed for God to give her me.

When I think back on the fertility struggles, the three years of wondering if I would ever have a baby, I would do it all over in a heartbeat if it meant having her.  My life was irrevocably changed the second I laid eyes on her and for the rest of my life, I will live for my kids and my family and God.  Careers hold no meaning nor does anything else of this world as long as I can hold my growing babies in my arms and know I will always be Mommy.

Opinions are like rear ends...everyone's got 'em and some are bigger than others

It's hard not to get caught up in the glamour and glitz of the inauguration.  I, in fact, feel a sense of pride that our country has moved forward from racism and partiality enough to elect a black president.  He's svelte, eloquent and smooth but I can't wait to see if he's more than that.  I truly hope he doesn't disappoint these millions of people who are looking at him with stars in their eyes.

Someone on Dr. Phil said it best yesterday.  You can go in a store right now and purchase a Barack Obama shirt with sequins and hopeful messages all over them.  This man has become a celebrity, not a President.  While watching the inauguration procession today, it reminded me of when Princess Diana died.  The millions of people lining the streets.  People crying at the sight of the car.  The paparazzi going crazy.  I found I was sad.  Maybe it's wrong of me not to give the man the benefit of the doubt.  I maintain he seems like a family oriented decent man, politics aside.  He doesn't seem spiteful or mean.  But I guess over the next few years we'll see what he's made of.

Let's hope he remembers, too, that he's the President of the United States and not Elvis.

The real reason bumpers are a SIDS threat...

He's Coming for YOU!

Punky was sitting in her carseat Sunday night as we were awaiting Hubby to get out of his deacon meeting.

"The Boogy Man is coming to get me, Mommy!" she said in a urgent voice.

I looked at her a second, afraid of who she's been talking to, worse or where she heard this.  Keep in mind the only place we ever go these days is church.

"Where did you hear about the Boogy Man, Punky?"  

She just grinned and said, "Cinderella told me."  Yeah.right.

"The Boogy Man is so silly, " I say, trying to make sure she's not afraid.  "He goes, "Boogy, boogy boogy!!!" And I danced in my seat.

"You're silly, Mommy!  That's not what the Boogy Man does!"

"Then what does he do?"

"The Boogy Man eats my boogies!  Here!"

Health Alert!

Newsflash: Antibiotics cause mental growth spurts in children under 6 months!

Nah, just kidding.  But now that Cupcake is feeling better, she's had a developmental growth spurt!  Hubby and I have been fighting over her both of us saying Mama or Dada.  She's been totally confused, too.  But last night, while Hubby was working late and I had some extra time with them, I took advantage and just continued to repeat "mamamamamama".  Her little jaw started working but no sound came out.

I praised her and praised her and continued to say it.  Before I knew it, she was saying "yayayayayayaya".  Not close, but progress for a 5 month old.  Then "yaya" turned into "wawawawawawa".  This morning she continued to perfect it and there was a definite "mama" amongst it all.  WOOHOO!  I win, Hubby, neener neener neeeeeeeener!

I still don't count it for her baby book until she's intentionally saying mama, but it's only a matter of time...

Oh and....I think it's time for a haircut, no?

Cupcake needs prayers...

Sorry about the delay in posting.  Much has been going on since I was around last.

Cupcake got sick last Thursday, running a fever and acting like she felt horrible.  I figured it was more of the same of this stupid stomach bug we've all had.  She's the only one I wasn't sure had gotten it.  I gave her motrin and sent her to bed.  Friday, my sister in law was watching the kids while I was at a doctors appointment (stupid UTI's!!!) and called me to say I should take Cupcake to the doc.  Her coloring was bad, she was breathing heavy and fast, and her fever had gone up.  At the pediatrician's office, they drew blood.  That seemed to indicate an infection.  Since she's not congested and her ears looked good, the doc catheterized her and drew urine.  Sure enough, the kid has a kidney infection.

It's rare for a kid that's not even 6 months to have one.  I immediately started panicking when she mentioned that she was going to have to put Cupcake through some tests.  She thinks she has kidney reflux (When urine goes back up into the kidney's from the bladder) but we won't know until after the tests are done, probably some time after her well visit on the 21st.  Several people at church told me yesterday that they knew kids who had this and outgrew it without any long term damage.  I sincerely hope so, it's very disconcerting to feel like my kid might have a chronic illness until her body outgrows it.  Apparently treatment for this is a low dose antibiotic, long term until she outgrows it.  It's not guaranteed that she has it, but it seems likely since she's so young with this type of infection.

At the moment, she's responding well to the antibiotics, so we're avoiding a hospital visit.  If she relapses from it, we might wind up there, but I hope not.  Finding a babysitter is difficult these days!

Cupcake's distress

So I haven't had to go in Cupcake's room at night since she started sleeping through the night on October 17th (I know because it was the night she turned exactly 3 months old).  Imagine my surprise when she started crying at 5 am.  My first thought was a growth spurt or she had flipped over.  She's still not able to roll from her back to her stomach but she's got the stomach to the back down TOO well.  She flips over a lot and wakes herself up.  It's annoying.  But she's never done it at night.

I sneak into her room, trying to make sure she doesn't see me.  There she is, crying with her eyes closed on her tummy.  I gave her some tylenol (she's been gnawing a lot) and moved her down in the bed so she wasn't in the corner.  As I moved her, her sleeve brushed against my hand.  It was wet.  Her sleeve was completely covering her hand....and her thumb.

Ahhh...the poor kid had been trying to suck her thumb through her sleeper, all to no avail and finally had to call me for help.  I rolled her sleeves up and snuck back out of her room.

I didn't hear from her again until 7:30 this morning, the little stinker.

Germs germs, go away.

My life is FILLED with all sorts of craziness right now, not to mention my initials right now are P.M.S.  Blogging right now is my way of thumbing my nose at the world and all I NEED to be doing.

This book I'm writing is burning a hole in my computer, waiting to continue.  However, I fear I've backed myself in a hole and thanks to my wonderful crit partners, they've caught it for me before I got in too deep.  It's a fixable problem, but it involves thinking - something I don't have a lot of time to do lately.

Cupcake is having sleep issues.  She's still sleeping her usual 12 hours at night but during the day it's been a nightmare.  I've introduced solids and I think her stomach may be bothering her from that.  Or it could be early teething.  Or it could be developmental.  Who knows.  All I DO know is that I'm at my wits end trying to keep the house clean (and failing miserably), keep the kids alive (that's the tricky one) and finding time for myself.

I'm almost done with the Twilight books, so that will be a relief off of me so I can focus more on writing.  Those stinkin' Twilight books suck you right in!

I think we're all about over all the stomach bugs, colds and such, too.  All the kids are finally ok, Punky hasn't thrown up or had diarrhea now for a couple of days.  We're venturing out to church tonight for the first time as a family of 5 since before Christmas I believe.  But we all know what is lurking in children's classrooms....

MORE GERMS!

Yay for us.  I want a bubble suit that keeps germs away during the winter.  I HATE GERMS!

Only my kid

She said the green dress and necklace made her look like Drizella from Cinderella.  Leave it to my kid to want to be an ugly step sister.

Still in the Christmas Spirit...

The Picture by Yours Truly

“Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts?”

I nodded and swallowed, not believing that he was actually going to tell me - a virtual stranger - about something so personal.

“I didn’t know her until about this time two years ago.  She came into my life like a tornado.  By the time I realized I couldn’t let her go, she was already gone.  I’ve never felt that helpless.  Never.  I watched the only person I’ve ever really loved waste away with cancer.  But what hurts even more than that, if it’s possible, was her spirit.  You wouldn’t believe the amount of spunk.” 

 

But I could.

“And I watched that die, too,” he added softly.

Silent tears streamed down my face and from the sound of Nicholas’s voice, he was crying, too.  He sniffed and exhaled against my hair.  “Sorry,” he apologized.  “I’m a wreck tonight.  Today is her birthday.  She couldn’t wait for her birthday.  She said it made her wiser.”  His grin echoed in his voice.

“What was her name?”  I asked even though I knew the answer.

“Emily,” he whispered.

For those of you who don't know, I resolve to make this year MY year to get published.  It's not completely in my hands, but I'm going to do everything possible, starting with this story.  It has the potential to be huge.  I just have to make sure I don't mess it up.  What are your thoughts on this?  If you read this on the inside cover, would you want to read more?  BE HONEST.